Hit and Miss Adventure

Ryerson and Frustration...

2012-02-06T23:50:00.000-05:00

So Ryerson is telling me that I have to pay additional fees for this class I have to take called Digital Journalism. Normally, I wouldn't be so angry, but the fee showed up two weeks into the semester, the class is mandatory so I can't drop out, and the person who sent us an email about the fee increase hasn't replied to the three emails I've sent her.

I've paid (almost) $7000 in tuition this year already, last semester I had Introduction to Feature Writing (124), Creative Writing, Critical Issues (400) and Introduction to Broadcast Television (125). This semester, I have Macro Economics, Theory of Mass Communication (402), Ethics and Law in Journalism (123) and Introduction to Digital Reporting (112). Let me break down for you what the classes cost.

Creative Writing and Macro Economics cost $575 each. That means for the remaining six classes, I've paid around $5,850. Because the school doesn't post how much a billing unit is, I have to figure it out on my own.

Roughly, this is the breakdown:
Class - Class number - billing units (cost)

Feature Writing - 124 - 3 ($1462.50)
Critical Issues - 400 - 1 ($487.50)
Theory of Mass Comm. - 402 - 1 ($487.50)
Intro to Broadcast - 125 - 4 ($1950.00)
Ethics and Law - 123 - 1 ($487.50)
Digital Journalism - 112 - 2 ($975.00)

Digital Journalism, the class they want to increase to $1,462.50 is a class where they spent one entire class with the server down, and we were unable to post or create the blogs that they spent quite a while explaining. I've had this blog since 2007, and while it's not identical to WordPress, I'm surprisingly* good at figuring out how these things work. They spent, what I'm sure was, forty-five minutes explaining twitter, which I have been a member of since before I started at Ryerson.

I don't mean to say that everyone should be expected to know this stuff, but it's not hard. All of these programs are user friendly, they're hard to break and frankly, they have hints and tips all over them to help the user create a quality product. If you have questions about something on the internet, Google can definitely answer it. I understand the idea of why we have this class, but if they're going to teach "digital natives" how to use the internet, they should be teaching us new things.

And if they're not, they certainly shouldn't be charging almost $1500 to take the class.

Cait

*This isn't surprising

PS: Yes, I know that some of the fees were adjusted, but because I'm taking Macro Econ through Chang, I may be forced to pay the extra fees in order to stay in school.

2012-02-02T07:08:00.000-05:00

As promised, below is my discussion of the Vampire Diaries vs. Buffy, which one comes out on top. Now, there are issues that some might not realize are there – we can’t talk about who did what first, because the books were published before Buffy was on air, but the Buffy movie came out before the books. So there won’t be any “first!” discussion here.

The lore in both worlds has the vampires unable to cross the threshold of houses without an invitation, both can be killed with fire or a wooden stake to the heart, neither can walk in daylight, though in Vampire Diaries, a witches spell can counteract that. While it’s religious paraphernalia that causes the vampires pain in Buffy, it is vervain that does it in the Vampire Diaries. Finally, in Buffy the Vampires are demons that have inhabited the empty shells of the dead by the consumption of the vampire blood before the victim dies. In the Vampire Diaries it is a witches spell that is passed on, again by the consumption of the vampire’s blood before the victim dies.

But, before I begin with the compare and critique, we have to address the players in the Vampire Diaries that we’re comparing to the people in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So here is it, broken down. On the left are the Vampire Diaries characters and the left we have the Buffy characters.

Elena – Buffy
Stefan – Angel
Bonnie – Willow
Damon - Spike
Matt – Xander

There’s almost no competition between our female leads. Buffy is a strong woman who fights demons of all sorts on her own, and dies twice throughout the series, has been to both Heaven and Hell, and still finds it in her heart to love. Elena is taken care of by her boyfriend, her friends and her boyfriend’s brother. Buffy is also more self-sacrificing, as she’s willing to kill the man she loved, even though he’d become the man she wanted back for the good of mankind. Elena however locks Stefan in a basement and tortures him, hoping that that will help him see the error in his evil ways. The vampire slayer scores one on this side.

The comparison of male leads is a difficult one. Matt from Mystic Falls is far more attractive that Xander from Sunnydale, however, Xander is actually useful. He researches, and doesn’t mind fixing up the house when everything gets broken. Xander loses an eye and Matt ends up getting compelled and in a fist fight with a potential werewolf. While he has his negative moments, Xander for the most part is good for his group. Matt however, seems to be a detriment, after bring Vicki “through” from the “other side” and allowing people to come close to hurting the woman he’s in love with Elena.

However, both men have a flaw. Like all the other men, Matt and Xander, are initially in love with the female lead. I understand the love for Buffy, she’s a strong woman who has quirks and is kind and fun. Elena however is a self-centred cheerleader, who decided to write dark poetry and whine a lot.

This leads into the other men in our lead’s lives, Damon, the darkness, and Stefan, the light, compare easily to Angel, the light and Spike, the darkness. However, the darkness seems to be what makes people interesting – their flaws. And similar to Edward Cullen, Stefan suffers from the “too perfect, moody guy”. He’s got a dark past with secrets, but he’s good at everything and oh-so-smart. Angel has a similar dark past, but he’s not above killing other vampires. He doesn’t worry about the consequences behind “dusting” a few bad guys, and his only rule is to not kill humans.

In his own show, (titled, so cleverly “Angel”), he ends up killing a couple people – and cutting off a human’s hand. He distinguishes between right and wrong, not human and non-human. While Stefan gets all uptight when a werewolf (Mason Lockwood) is killed by Damon. Between Stefan and Angel, I’d side with Angel.

The trick for me comes with Spike and Damon. I think I love the characters equally because they toe the line between good and evil like a tight-rope walker. Spike is one of the “big bad” enemies who ends up falling in love with Buffy after she beats him down, and he ends up unable to kill people anymore, and starts working for her side. Damon is also a villain at first, and similar to Spike, even when he’s good he’s bad. Damon has killed the same character (Alaric) twice, the second time “just for fun” – and that he did while he was “good”.

James Marsters and Ian Somerhalder are attractive men in their own unique ways, but they carry the darkness the same way. They are the ideal rebel, and the kind of man every girl was, at one point, warned away from. They play the characters in a way that is almost reminiscent of James Dean, that they are rebels without a cause. Unlike Stefan, when he goes bad, who comes off as a rebel without a clue.

But, I’ve gone on too long about the men. I want to take a moment and talk about the witches in both shows. Bonnie is descendent from a long line of natural witches who are born with power and a connection to natural. She talks about her power as if it is something that exists within her, like a mage from a video game. Willow however simply harnesses the power of nature, and her vast understanding of that power is what grants her the ability to become one of the strongest Wiccans in North America, almost destroy the world and enable every potential slayer to become a true slayer.

While I find Willow to be the more interesting character, I find the conversation about power being inherently good or inherently evil tiring. I can appreciate the discussion, as it is something that requires debate, I enjoy that in the Vampire Diaries it is treated as nothing more than power – not a disease or a blessing.

As you can tell, when it comes to the characters, Buffy wins. A huge part of that is the female role models in Buffy, though I know the discussion here was a comparison between the men. I hope you enjoyed what has probably been one of my longest blog posts to date.

Be good while I’m gone,
Cait

How Buffy Ruined Twilight for Me

2012-02-01T06:46:00.001-05:00

I like Twilight. I've read the books 5 or 6 times through, and watched the movies. I found it amusing, and entertaining, a quick read, and a pick me up, like reading Cosmo or Nylon. However, I started to read Twilight again, after watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it just wasn't good enough anymore.

And yes, I know, I like the Vampire Diaries and they do the brooding vampire/soul mate thing too, but I’m going to compare the Vampire Diaries and Buffy at a latter date.

First, it really was just a matter of weeks and Bella was willing to die for Edward. I hadn’t realized how quickly things progressed until after watching Buffy and comparing the two. A few weeks after knowing Angel, Buffy still wasn't sure if she was going to have to kill him. The first time they met, she got angry at him, and their relationship didn't exactly take off from there.

As well, Robert Pattinson does not do brooding vampire as well as David Boreanaz - and since watching the movies, all I can do is picture Pattinson in the role of Edward. He's not attractive, not a good actor, and ruins the imagery for me. When I read the books, I hear him and see him saying the lines, and I’m just heart broken. He is truly unattractive.

In Twilight, the vampires are tame, “vegetarians” who, like alcoholics, stick together to keep each other strong. In Buffy, Angel is part demon, part human. When he goes to protect her, his face is disfigured by the demon possessing him, and Buffy ends up loving him anyway. Edward is easy to love, he is willing to die for Bella while being incredible at basically everything. Angel, however, sometimes lacks basic communication skills. He struggles to relate to Buffy at times, and their relationship takes work. Like a real relationship should.

So yes, I’m talking about vampires and realism. Get over it.

But what kills me the most is that, when the relationship was hurting Buffy, and we could talk about Spike or Angel, both times, she didn’t collapse though she was in love, but she stood up and did what was right for her. At one point, Buffy even kills Angel because it’ll save the world. I can’t imagine Bella actually giving up staring into Edward’s big dumb eyes long enough to notice that the world was ending, let alone, kill him to save it. When she realized that Edward was leaving her, she curled up into a ball and had to be rescued by a pack of werewolves.

So yea. Buffy ruined Twilight for me.

Come back tomorrow when I talk about the Vampire Diaries and Buffy.

Be good while I'm gone,

Cait

For those of you who find me funny...

2012-01-31T01:55:00.000-05:00

...I've decided to publish my short stories online through Smashwords as "e-books". I recently posted a story, "Manslaughter" and there will be more to come.

The story can be found here, just follow this link.

Thank you for all of your support. The fact is, if you enjoy my blog, you'll likely enjoy my fiction, however, there is a caveat on that. I'm certain that some of the content includes strong language and scenes I wouldn't want my parents to read (yes dad, that means you), so if you're sensitive to that, please don't be mad about it.

Thank you!

Cait

Abduction

2012-01-30T05:50:00.000-05:00

"Being a good CIA agent is genetic."

or

"Raise the perfect spy on the nations money and then tell him to do any other job."

Hide (2008)

2012-01-27T11:15:00.000-05:00

"Hell is a favourite hobby you got tired of."

or

"Christian Kane looks better with long hair."

Leverage

2012-01-26T06:58:00.000-05:00

"We haven't gotten ourselves into a situation that Elliot can't punch his way out of."

or

"Having twenty-six plans for every situation is the only solution."

or

"Hardison always dies on Plan M."

How I Met Your Mother

2012-01-25T08:24:00.000-05:00

"I don't care if he's gay, get me his number!"

or

"Otherwise known as, Barney is Awesome."

Veronica Mars

2012-01-24T09:22:00.001-05:00

"You can fool the cops but you can't fool me."

or

"The police are useless. Or out to get you. Or both."

The Vampire Diaries

2012-01-23T01:59:00.000-05:00

"Vampires are racists."

Cloverfield

2012-01-20T00:49:00.000-05:00

"Godzilla!"

or

"Never throw a rooftop party in Manhattan."

Sherlock

2012-01-19T00:47:00.000-05:00

"No one is as smart as Holmes."

or

"Sherlock is the original Sheldon."

Carriers

2012-01-18T01:28:00.000-05:00

"If your friends and family get sick with a deadly and highly contagious disease, leave them on the side of the road to die."

or

"If you get sick with a deadly and highly contagious disease, lie to everyone left that you love, so that they get it too."

Franklin and Bash

2012-01-17T06:29:00.000-05:00

"It's Zach Morris! He became a lawyer!"

or

"A turtle throws a party in court?"

Glee

2012-01-16T06:26:00.000-05:00

"We can tackle every issue the world has ever struggled with, if we just sing with all our hearts."

or

"Singing leads to scheming. Stamp it out."

Forty Thousand Words

2012-01-15T21:05:00.000-05:00

It may not seem like such a leap but when you consider that Friday I posted that I'd written 31, 000 words (all of this since January 5th), I've done 9, 000 words in around 51 hours. It's quite a bit, considering that I've also slept, eaten and spent time with family while doing it.

My goal for the month as you know is 50, 000 words. I've promised myself no pizza until I hit that goal, then once I do, I'm picking up the phone and ordering myself one. If I can afford it after I buy my textbooks. I think the reward system is helping. I think I'm going to promise myself that I won't order another one for another 25, 000 words... which at my current rate is about... six days? Wow. I'm impressing myself now.

Maybe Steven King does better, but I'm not him yet. Someday... just have to get this first one written, edited and sent out. Man, does all of this seem exhausting.

Do you reward yourself or set stepping stone goals? Tell me in the comments.

Cait

Writing goals...

2012-01-13T17:22:00.001-05:00

So I'm really bad at New Years Resolutions. I've decided this year, I'm just not going to do them. I am however going to do month-resolutions. And I've already got the next few months...

January - Write 50, 000 words.
February - Write another 50, 000 words.
March - Finish a story that is at least 100, 000 words, and 50, 000 words of short stories or finish a 150, 000 word novel-length story.

I've already started on January's with 31, 000 words written. I've been pushing myself to write several thousand words a day - I've even created a chart that tracks my work. My daily goal is the one that National Novel Writing Month uses of 1667 words a day.

Depending on how I succeed, April will have something to do with editing. I will be doing some crowdsourcing to see what happens next with the story if I get stuck, so follow me @cedavidson or check me out on Facebook.

What are you resolutions? Comment below.

Cait

EDIT: This is also my 300th post.

Twilight

2012-01-13T06:23:00.000-05:00

"More hairgel."

or

"Angel. But moodier. And let's make the abstinence thing less about his soul and more about sparkling and Mormonism."

or

"Thirteen year olds will watch it, they'll get it."

The Mentalist

2012-01-12T06:21:00.000-05:00

"... but he's a sociopath on our side. Most days."

Big Bang Theory

2012-01-11T06:20:00.001-05:00

"Isn't Asperbergers cute?"

or

"Look! Nerds!"

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

2012-01-10T06:16:00.001-05:00

"I die. A lot."

or

"I'm on team Spike. Team Angel is too brood-y."

or

"Why am I killing all of the vampires when it would be faster to blow up the town?"

Two Broke Girls

2012-01-09T06:15:00.001-05:00

"The really rich and the really poor are the same: their suffering is funny."

Warehouse 13

2012-01-06T06:14:00.000-05:00

"No Pete! Don't touch that!"

True Blood

2012-01-05T06:08:00.000-05:00

"Vampires represent gay people! Anna Paquin has boobs!"

Gossip Girl

2012-01-04T06:07:00.000-05:00

"If you're going to do something shameful, be proud of it."

or

"Serena didn't do it guys!"

Hawaii Five-0

2012-01-03T06:11:00.000-05:00

"Rules? What rules?"

or

"Of course this is within our jurisdiction... I'll tell the governor on you."

Castle

2012-01-02T06:09:00.001-05:00

"These crimes are so easy, a emotionally-stunted, self employed writer could solve them!"

or

"Canadians can solve crimes too."

Limitless

2011-12-30T06:05:00.000-05:00

"Drugs are ok, as long as you think you can quit."

or

"Consequences only exist if you're not hot."

Supernatural

2011-12-29T06:03:00.000-05:00

"The world wants to end."

or

"There is no God. Except for all the ones we hunted."

The moral of the story is...

2011-12-28T06:03:00.000-05:00

OK, so I've been watching a lot of movies/tv shows... I would say lately, but does the last 6 years count? So I thought I'd post my impressions of the "morals of the story".

Each day there will be the name of a show or movie, and the moral I got from it. Many of these shows, I've seen the whole series, from beginning to end, so it might be an overall theme, or just a line grabbed from the show that seemed to capture it.

So here's the first one:

Contagion:

"Germaphobes had it right."

Alternatively:

"Don't touch anyone. Ever."

. . . vampires . . .

2011-12-07T07:48:00.001-05:00

Watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer is an intriguing thing. The guy who plays Angel is also in Bones and I can see shades of the man he’s going to be in the boy he is in this show. He looks so young, and watching it all I can think is how much better he looks as an adult.

It’s also interesting, because there are shades of the same kind of supernatural mysteries that show up in a number of works. While the show Supernatural doesn’t touch on vampires, it does talk about demons, though much of the lore doesn’t cross over. They use the same words, but the treatment of the creatures is completely different. Same with The Vampire Diaries (the books) who use “Malachs” as one of the creatures that work on behalf of the evil presences that attack the protagonists. In Buffy “Moloch” is a demon that ends up in the internet.

(My favourite quote from that episode, “A man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother’s life. Good for him!”)

It’s funny and entertaining, yet I feel like I don’t know any of the rules. Because I’ve read and watched tons of other supernatural mysteries and stories I’ve got expectations of things I should see. Buffy doesn’t always hit that, and also sticks to traditional lore about vampires. True Blood has vampires able to deal with crosses, the Vampire Diaries (the show) has vampires being sensitive to vervain, but again, crosses are no big deal.

But back to the guy who played Angel, David Boreanaz plays him, and he’s absolutely adorable in Bones. I guess I’m surprised, I thought I’d be more interested in him when he was younger, as opposed to now that he’s older. He was in his twenties when he played Angel and yet he looks so young compared to how he looks now in Bones. It trips me up.

Anyway, the train is getting close to school. Have a good one.

New Chapter...

2011-12-05T07:47:00.001-05:00

My iPod gave me the soundtrack for my new chapter, “The Restless” by the Matches… though they make no sense these are the moments we’ll remember for the rest of our restless lives… And by chapter I mean these next nine months, living in Waterloo and going to school in Toronto.

I need to find a new job, but a piece of me doesn’t want to bother. Working sucks and takes work. However, I haven’t gone without a job since March 2008, and even then I was in school full time. This life is exhausting, needing money to do anything I want to do is frustrating. However, I do understand why school costs money – first it’s a private institution and second the people who make it on their own appreciate it way more.

But that’s a conversation for another day.

As it is, I’m sitting on the greyhound as it leaves Kitchener, and once again, it’s reminiscent of every time I’ve left Kitchener before. It’s funny how being on this bus, I’m always going to Toronto, nowhere else. Me and these Greyhound trips have become friends (so don’t worry my Toronto buddies, there will be visits, I promise.) I will say this, I’ve got a lot of good memories here, and there are a lot of good ones left to make. If you haven’t seen me in a while and want to reconnect, let me know, I probably miss seeing you.

And now it’s Evil Walks (AC/DC) on the iPod, and I want to dance.

Changes

2011-12-02T07:46:00.000-05:00

I’ve made some major changes to my life, and if you’re still following you might be interested to know. I realized recently that I couldn’t keep living beyond my means and needed to move somewhere cheaper. So I worked it out, and figured I could move to my parents place and commute to Ryerson. I’ve resigned my job, and am commuting from Waterloo to Ryerson since Dec. 1st.

It’s exhausting, and in ways, kind of fun. I’ve been catching up on my TV and depending on how I travel, bus or train, I get to see a lot of Southern Ontario. The train costs more than the bus, but it travels at better times and is almost always on time or early. An addition bonus is that it has plugs for power and free wifi. Even better though, it has bathrooms with both water and toilet paper, unlike the bus. However, the bus being cheaper, also has a more flexible schedule. It runs almost every hour and is anywhere from ten to fifteen dollars cheaper than the train.

I’ve started watching “How I Met Your Mother” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and have been doing that with my time commuting. I know I’ll need to look for a new job soon, but until then I’ll be watching Buffy and Barney be awesome. I’m going to try the next time I feel sick to stop feeling sick and feel awesome instead. If that doesn’t work, I’ll just kick the closest thing. That way I can find out who’s right about life, Buffy or Barney.

The train is pulling into Brampton and I want to finish the episode I’m on. Have a good morning.

Blog Design

2011-10-19T02:13:00.001-04:00

Life is insane.

Hopefully I'll have a better explanation of why I'm so lax with my blog posts lately, soon, but until then I'm just going to provide a few quick comments about my life/life in general for you.

- I am easily lured to purchase things by the chances I have to win things.
- I hate the current layout/design of my blog.
- TV is an even greater distraction when I don't have cable.
- Something is eating my face.
- I hate mornings but love school. This leads to conflict.
- Occupy(X) ticks me off, but I can't properly articulate why I feel the protesters are wrong.
- Fitted sheets that explode off the corners of my bed in the middle of the night should be marked as dangerous by the government.
- I don't sleep enough and whine too much.

So that's it for now. Soon I'll have more for you, I promise.

Cait

Internet Security Tip

2011-08-08T01:51:00.000-04:00

Hey All,

I was curious and looking around a website about paying for dates that I'd read an article about. I noticed that a lot of the user names are pretty generic and was curious to see if I could locate one or two of the people to find their real names.

Three out of three of the women that I tried, used the same username for multiple sites, and I was able to confirm against linkedin that they are who they say they are in the "discreet" profile on "WhatsYourPrice". As hilarious as that is, it's also kind of risky if you don't want your boss to find out what you're doing on your off hours.

Give it a go yourself, I used NameChk to verify my findings.

Enjoy,

Cait

Bikini Booty Boot Camp

2011-07-24T16:13:00.000-04:00

I have a friend that I go to the gym with, who challenges me to be better than I am. She pushes me to enrol in races and try new things that I never would have thought of trying. As I’ve mentioned before, Jenn found this Booty Boot Camp that she thought it would be a great way of jumpstarting our workout. After being hesitant about the price, I agreed to do the boot camp.

That was simultaneously the best and worst decision I have ever made.

In eight sessions over four weeks my body was pushed to its limit and farther by probably the sweetest drill instructor who has ever lived. I learned new exercises and took more hot baths than I ever thought I would in a month. I hurt all over, I worked hard and I was rewarded with sore muscles.

It was worth it. The hard work, every moment of sweat, every ache, was worth what I got in the end. Not only did I lose 11 inches and 8 lbs that month, I gained a new appreciation for my body and exercise. My fitness goals weren’t just about losing weight anymore, but I wanted to be strong, to be accomplished and capable.

My gym friend and I learned new exercises to incorporate into our core fitness, as well as how to perfect some those we already knew. As someone who struggled to do a single sit up when we started, I now can do up to 20 sit ups, without too much whining.

As I’ve mentioned before, I can shop in real stores again. I can fit the high end of regular sizes again too.

Boot Camp was amazing; I’d recommend it to anyone – unless you’re looking for an “easy” way to lose weight.

It’s fun, energetic and effective.

Cait

I hate it when TV is wrong.

2011-07-20T18:52:00.000-04:00

"Every baby's blood type is determined by their parents blood type. Tracy's type is A, the baby's type is O+. Tracy isn't the babies mother."

This is a quote from Rizzoli and Isles, season 2 episode 2. I'm slightly bother by it because it's scientifically wrong. Tracy may have been an A, but she could be carrying the genetic recessive gene for an O, and O+ is a lot more common (though still rare) than O-. Even if Tracy were A+ and the baby was O-, that still doesn't mean that the baby isn't hers.

Why do I know this? I'm an O+, my mother is an A+. She is most definitely my mother.

Love,

Cait

Toronto

2011-07-02T23:18:00.000-04:00

It's warm enough to wear a t-shirt and shorts, but it had looked cold. I'd worn pants instead of a skirt or shorts, the cloud cover giving me pause enough to take a sweater. I regret the weight of the sweater in my purse, but there's naught I can do about it, being downtown already.

I walk with a small smile, in case someone thinks I'm looking at them. With the sunglasses, I knew it is a guess for people where my eyes are focused. In a city full of people, you know that there are enough crazies to cause trouble. It's getting too late for shopping, being almost six, most of the stores have started closing. I stop into the Gap and Aldo, but neither have the shoes or shirt for which I'm looking.

Wandering straight into the middle of a Pride event accidentally, the store I was looking for was closed. I walked South for a bit, looking for shoe stores. A pair of ballet slippers might serve me longer than the last pair of shoe I'd had.

My mother had given me a pair of dress shoes to replace a pair I'd worn through, another gift from her. It seems though that I walk weird, because I've worn through two pairs of shoes in 6 months. The pair I've got right now is starting to look a little ragged and I know if I don't replace them soon I'll have another moment where I realize I'm no longer standing on sole, but on the ground with no protection.

Looking and buying nothing, I find myself out until after the grocery stores have closed. I'm kicking myself - I'm tired and all I wanted was a couple of nice apples. I'll live, and have to go back tomorrow.

I get home, taking my shoes off I realize that I've picked up half the street dirt on my feet somehow.

Disgusting.

Cait

Ice and the Running Room

2011-05-26T00:27:00.000-04:00

I'm curled up on my bed icing my ankle. It's just muscle pain, but I'm whiny.

I'm doing a Running Room clinic with Jenn, "Learn to Run". I'm really impressed with what I've learned so far and I'm finding my love of running again. I pushed myself today and found myself in the top group and I'm really happy we decided to do this.

We have the Bread and Honey race in Mississauga on June 5th, so look forward to an update on that.

I'm tired and my ice is melting. I'm off to bed.

Cait

Wins and Losses: Caffeine and Running

2011-05-23T21:53:00.000-04:00

So, my goal to end my caffeine use has died. Died a tragic death. It started a couple days ago when I gave in, just once, to a diet coke at a restaurant. Then it spiraled into three diet cokes today. Three! It's almost worse than before! (Except, not really because I've always been kind of a huge caffeine junkie.)

With this failure I'm trying to figure out if I should get back on the caffeine-free horse or just pursue water as an alternative. My goal lately has been to finish a litre of water before lunch, then I can have any beverage of my choosing. This method has forced me to drink more water, and forced me to like it... I don't know if I'll make it to the bottom of the bottle sometimes, and then lo and behold I'm done and craving more water, not pop or juice.

I've started my food journal up again. I'm not trying to make any major changes just yet. I only want to track what I'm eating. However, I always hate the dirty truths about my favourite foods. This shocked me when I learned it, but there are more calories in one of Pizza Pizza's garlic dipping sauce than there are in their pepperoni pizza slice.

I've read a lot of different sources on what my caloric intake for the day should be when I'm doing moderate to intense exercise and want to lose weight. Anyone have a reference on the best source to use? Canada food guide doesn't offer the "lose weight" consumption option.

A running victory has been a quiet one, it's been now 5 months of running and exercising regularly, and I feel like I've won a major battle. I'll get to the 5 and 10 kilometre mark sooner than you think, just watch me. With a victory comes a goal; by the time I graduate from Ryerson, I want to run a marathon.

In other news, I've had a commenter say they also want to get fitter, (he's got a great blog, check it here!) if anyone out there wants to join me on my quest to fitness or a marathon, let me know, I'll be more than happy to correspond with you. Or if you're in Toronto, email me, and we'll get together. Just remember, when emailing me to include a subject line that differentiates you from the spam I receive, just so you don't get filtered.

Have a good night,

Cait

Fat Isn't a Terminal Illness

2011-05-09T20:07:00.002-04:00

You’re not “destined” to be fat for the rest of your life, you’re not big boned and the BMI scale most certainly applies to you if you can’t run 5 kilometres (in a row.) I’m not saying that you need to get a t-shirt that says “fat” on it, and be forced to wear it everywhere. Everyone else already knows your fat; you’re the only one who hasn’t admitted it yet.

Sure, you can tell yourself that you can still shop in normal stores or that you’re just naturally heavier. Those are lies we’ve all told ourselves, letting ourselves believe that we can be whatever weight we want and still be healthy. That’s not true.

What truth is is your doctor telling you that you need to lose weight or risk health issues in the future. Truth is that you’re probably tired all the time, and not just too heavy, but not getting the nutrition you need. Truth is that even though it’s hard, you don’t have to be fat forever. The truth is, you’re probably lying to yourself.

Stop what you’re doing. Get naked. Stand in front of a mirror. Don’t suck your stomach in, don’t stretch. Just look at yourself. Do you have stretch marks that aren’t from pregnancy? Would you be ok going out in a bikini? What about if someone else saw you like this, how would you feel?

I’m not saying compare yourself to skinny minis, but compare yourself to the “yous” you liked in the past. Were you thinner? More in shape? If the answer is yes to either of these then you need to do a little soul searching. The question isn’t “will exercise improve your quality of life?” because it will. The question is, “am I willing to make the important changes necessary to be healthier?”

Fat isn’t a curse. It’s a blessing in disguise. It’s a trial you have to overcome to become better, to hone your discipline and become a better person.

Fat isn’t a death sentence, it’s completely curable, stop acting like it’s a terminal illness.

Fat isn’t you. So stop saying it is.

Cait

Happy Anni-Mother's Day

2011-05-08T12:06:00.000-04:00

Thirty-five years ago yesterday my parents got married.

Thirty five years is a ridiculously long stretch of time - longer than anything I've ever experience because I haven't even been alive for 35 years.

Crazy right? (Well, no, not that crazy when you consider that they planned to get married before having kids, but that's beside the point.)

Also, today is Mother's Day. So happy anniversary and happy mothers day!

One of my mother's goals this month is to quit caffeine, so I'm going to show solidarity with her, and from here until June 8th, I will not consume another beverage with caffeine listed in the ingredients.

Have you quit caffeine before? Any tips for us?

Cait

Fitness Update

2011-05-06T17:19:00.000-04:00

Five months ago when I started going to the gym with Jenn to get back into shape, I was exhausted at the end of 400 meters. Completing a signal lap around a college track was harder than it had ever been, and that was on a treadmill with no incline. Part of the issue there is that I was a fat girl.

Three months after training at the beginning of April we did Harry’s Spring Run-Off and ran/walked the 5k in a little over 51 minutes. It was frustrating and hilly, we ended up walking quite a bit and making a point of sprinting over the finish line. We hadn’t prepared for that race, and it kicked our butts.

Through April we did Booty Boot Camp, probably the best fitness decision we’d made yet. Jenn suggested it, but though I was hesitant at first (it’s a little pricey) it ended up being well worth the money. Throughout the month of April we lunged and burpied our butts off, literally, and both of us lost around 11 inches.

The other night I made a point of running the 5k and timing myself. I completed 5k in 43 minutes and 46 seconds – almost 8 minutes off my original time. I can run 2 kilometres without needing a break to walk. (All of this on a treadmill of course.)

I weighed myself a few days after our last training session at boot camp and from my starting point in January, I was down 17 lbs. From 220 lbs in Jan, I now weigh 203 lbs. The best part is that I think I could legitimately shop in regular stores again. No longer was I dependant on the old lady styles and boxy clothing of Penningtons – I can buy shirts at H&M. For a fat girl, it’s a treat to find clothes that fit and be able to look cute in a small 16.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m done. Not by any stretch of the imagination. From here on out, I need to lose another 46 lbs to be healthy and my goal is to half my clothing size, to an 8 and to lose another 60 lbs.

I have another run on May 14^th, and we’ll see how well that goes.

Cait

"The Killing" - there may be spoilers

2011-04-11T10:36:00.001-04:00

An American remake of a Dutch series running on AMC has the gritty detective fiction feel that viewers love, the Killing ran it's pilot on April 3rd.

I love it. It's so dark, and the build up is intense. The first half of the pilot is about determining whether there is a murder, finding the body and building a bit of back story. The tale ties together three story lines that are all involved in the murder somehow; the victim, the suspects and the detectives.

At times, it seems like the show is trying to be funny, when Linden the detective is constantly dragging Holder, her replacement around the city. Whenever he objects she tells him he doesn't have to stay, and he replies, "You're my ride!" this is a recurring theme in the pilot, and while, slightly amusing, it does seem that her attitude is building toward her attitude for the entire show.

The show is 13 episodes long and each episode is a "day" in the investigation of the 17 year old girls murder. I found the opening scene to be vaguely reminiscent of Twin Peaks - a murder mystery investigating the death of teenage Laura Palmer. I am fond of many shows on AMC, and did really enjoy walking the pilot of The Killing.

The one thing I'd recommend though is breaking it up. Watch the first half (44m50s) and then follow up with the second half the next day. It's nearly 90 minutes long and a lot to watch if you're not looking to watch a movie. Wikipedia actually lists what I saw as the pilot as two separate episodes.

Well, that's it for now. The next episode airs tonight on AMC,

Check it out,

Cait

Cellularless ... Hand free?

2011-04-09T11:16:00.000-04:00

I feel like someone has cut off my right hand and fed it to a walrus. If anyone has had that happen to them, I’m sorry for making light of your tragedy. Also, that’s hilarious.

What am I supposed to do without a cell phone? Ignoring the fact that I can’t text or call, which in itself makes me feel as if I can’t function, I can’t tweet. It’s my alarm clock. I have pictures and texts saved in there from special moments or times with friends I don’t get to see very often.

You see, I dropped my cell phone in a restaurant toilet last night.

How am I supposed to tell the world in less than 140 characters that I’m out of lotion for my dry hands? (My hands are so dry! #needlotion) Or talk about a book I saw advertised on the subway? (Saw #RobertJSawyer posters, books sound good eh, @shryko @peterntrinh ?) Even noticing things like what a nice day it is, I’m incapable of expressing like a normal human being! (@dvdyip @jenniferkelly10 such a nice day! You need to get outside for me!)

I had to figure out how the CD player alarm clock I had stashed away worked – I haven’t needed an alarm clock that wasn’t my cell phone in eight years. Before I got my first cell phone, I had never done an Improv show before. Nor had I worked at a real job, (blueberry raking, where I ate as many berries as I raked, worked half a day, got stung by a bee and never went back doesn’t count.) I’m pretty tech savvy but it took me ten minutes to figure out how to set, turn on and turn off the alarm clock. I work in tech support.

I knew I was dependent on my cell phone. I knew that I had trouble living without it. What I didn’t know was that I would feel like I’ve stopped living just because I don’t have it with me. Time doesn’t move forward when I can’t check it on my phone. People aren’t functioning because they can’t text me. Twitter can’t update because I don’t have my phone. Yea, I know I have narcissistic tendencies, but I’m not being narcissistic here. It’s that, I don’t believe it exists if I can’t touch. I haven’t grown out of that childhood stage, where if I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.

I had to do a project last semester where I didn’t use technology that has existed past 1990 for 24 hours. I hated it, every second of it. Even the fact that I was asleep for ten hours of it, then 14 hours I was awake, and without my cell phone, email, FaceBook and everything that comes with that, killed me. But that was easier than this, now. I am incapable of doing anything, even though I have access to email and my blog (obviously), I’ve become almost entirely dependent on my phone to do everything for me.

I don’t know when most of my friend’s birthdays are. If I do, I can hardly be expected to remember on the day, mostly because I’m a failure at trying. And yet, people will notice that I’m pretty decent at remembering to send them a message. That’s because there’s an alarm programmed into my phone to go off on birthdays with the name of the person, at 10 am every day that there’s a birthday. I don’t have everyone programmed into my phone, and those are the people I usually forget to wish a happy birthday to.

I guess the point of this is that I’m less than Captain Hook without my cell phone. I mean, I don’t have a hook.

Cait

I’m Frightened by Company

2011-04-08T11:42:00.001-04:00

No, this isn’t another emo, anti-social post, I promise. This story happened a couple weeks ago, but it’s the first chance I’ve had to get it down.

I had a friend staying with me, he was down from Waterloo and I’d offered him a couch to crash on. He was going to be out during most of the night after I met him for dinner, so I gave him a set of keys to let himself in. I had to work at 8 am the next morning, and didn’t want to wake up to let him in.

Fact was, that night I went to the gym with Jenn, and we went to Wendy’s after as usual. I got home later than I had expected, and read Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban) until I dozed off with all my lights still on.

Around three, I hear someone trying to get into my apartment and a piece of me freaks out. I talk myself out of it – no ones trying to get in, so I try to close my eyes and doze off again. But then, did I just hear a door close?

I’m going to get murdered.

I stand up, grab my phone and begin to walk into the living room, the only light in my place coming from a lamp behind me and THERE’S A MAN STANDING IN MY LIVING ROOM!

I screamed. I took another breath and scream again.

He puts his arms up, “whoa, whoa! What’s … Cait! It’s me!” … I come to my senses and realize that it’s the friend I gave the key to earlier.

I’m completely nuts.

Now see, I have this massive adrenaline rush, and lay in bed awake up about 6 or 6:30 am – when I have to get up at 7:20 am to get to work on time. I made it to work, but was completely exhausted for the entire day.

Of course, I slept like a baby the next night.

Cait

Tampon Advertisements

2011-04-06T13:40:00.005-04:00

I drink pop, and a lot of it. I am also a woman, and am klutzy. So, you combine these things, and you have kind of a funny disaster waiting to happen, and a solution all-in-one. The story? I’m sitting at my desk, tired because I never get enough sleep and Oh No! I knocked over my diet coke onto my phone system.

Other than the fact that sparks and flames would be entertaining, that’s the last thing I want to happen. First because they’re expensive, and I don’t think my boss would be very happy with me, and second because I’m still wearing my headset. Sparks, and flames travel, and I don’t want to find out if I can move faster than they can.

So, I unplug the system quickly and realize I have no serviettes or paper towel at my desk. I’m frantically digging through my desk and wondering how absorbent my socks are when I stumble upon a tampon.

Of course, I’m elated. I quickly pop open the wrapper, pull the tampon out of the applicator and start cleaning up the spill. It puffs up, and absorbs the entire mess with room to go (yay, Playtex) and everything I just wiped up was dry. Not just dry, it wasn’t even sticky – it was better than using paper towel or serviettes, I only needed one and it took care of half a can of pop.

I think this should be included in some new advertisement campaign for tampons. Maybe I should be writing the commercials.

Maybe even men will start carrying them,

Cait

Blogo-versary… spread Cait day…

2011-04-04T17:22:00.000-04:00

Hey All,

It’s my blogo-versary coming up, and I was trying to think of what I want to do special. As of April 10^th, my blog will be 4 years old. While I try to wrap my head around that, I was wondering if you have anything you do special for your blogo-versary?

I like the term blogo-versary a lot, but I was also giggling at blogo-birthday and blog-party.

I’m also thinking of making some Hit and Miss Adventure stickers, and considering having a contest to design my logo, with some kind of prize. If you’re interested, let me know, if I get enough responses, then I’ll definitely run it.

‘til then,

Cait

Stigma’s Surrounding Blogs, and the Citizen Journalist

2011-04-01T14:34:00.001-04:00

While doing research for the post regarding marketing my blog, I stumbled across a number of places that referred to bloggers as “wanna-be journalists”. On the one hand, I can understand that the fact that the content is uncontrolled, there’s no standard for truth and people can spew anything they want depending on the hate speech laws in their country can make real journalists question the validity of something.

However, the blogosphere provides interesting opportunities for writers, journalists and regular citizens to get attention to issues that don’t make the regular press. The phrase “if it bleeds, it leads” isn’t a joke, I’ve had a prof say it a number of times, and that says something about journalism as an industry. Well, actually is says just that – newspapers, radio stations and TV news are all businesses, and at the end of the day there’s a board at the top looking for ways to make money.

Blogs however are the cottage industry of journalism. No it doesn’t make as much money, and no there aren’t rules for standardization or “blogger union” but that doesn’t mean it should be entirely discounted. The blogosphere is good for grassroots movements that aren’t as sexy as a six car pile up. Sometimes, it’s a heavy news day, and the “puppies with haemophilia” gets bumped. On a blog dedicated to just that, it doesn’t need to get bumped.

I don’t think that blogs are the end of journalism, just like I don’t think that tin hats will prevent aliens from reading my brain waves. (If they have the power to read brainwaves from space, I think they’d be able to figure out how to get through a little aluminum.)

Maybe it’s just that I’m a blogger in school for journalism. Hey! I really am a “wanna-be journalist”!

Maybe I should make that tin hat, just in case.

Cait

Market My Blog

2011-03-30T14:45:00.001-04:00

I’ve been reading about “how to market your blog”, first and foremost because of an essay I’m writing on the topic, but also because I’m interested in seeing if I can spread my blog. Share it with the world, if you will.

The topic intrigued me, mostly because the reason I started my blog was so I could get what I wanted to write read. As well as having one place where my thoughts and feelings could go for public consumption. What I didn’t think about when I was 17 and signing up for blogspot was that everyone else is doing the same thing. Not everyone reads blogs, and the people who do often have blogs of their own.

People aren’t going to go on the internet and just find my blog either; I have to direct people toward it. Once they find my blog, I have to keep their attention, draw them in again, and again.

Maybe it’s just a reflection after examining my blog for the essay that I realized that I might not be as marketable as I thought. What I have noticed though is that updating regularly coupled with ads from “Google AdWords” has definitely increased my blog stats.

February was my second best month, second only to July 2010, when I wrote about Jessie Slaughter on Good Morning America. That’s also something I addressed in the essay, writing about controversial topics brings in readers, but at the same time it alienates whoever doesn’t share my opinion. Though I do enjoy arguing on the internet (I’m really not joking) I think it reflects poorly on me when I start the arguments using my real name.

Well, that’s all for now, more next time kids!

Cait

The Things We Dread

2011-03-28T14:31:00.000-04:00

When I was 19, I dreaded turning 20. I figured it would be the end of all fun, and excuses to be silly. You see, I thought 20 was the end of being a “young person”.

I was listening to some of my classmates talk, and one of the girls said “you turn 20 and it’s all downhill from there!” My kneejerk reaction was the jump into the conversation (because I’m the quiet weird girl in class) and say, “Hey 20 isn’t so bad, neither is 21!” Of course, I didn’t jump into the conversation – every time I try to do something like that, what I have to say is only sort of relevant, and the group conversation becomes kind of stilted until I get quiet again.

But it did cause me to think about what’s so scary about turning 20. Part of it is that a part of your life is over, and that part is all you’ve known. You’re passing into the point where you’re allowed to be foolish and you’re expected to be an adult. Once you’re no longer a teenager, you feel like you have to grow up, like you have to be a real person who takes responsibility for themselves.

For some, the passing of the teenage years means you can’t take summers off, or stay out all night just for fun. You’ve got responsibilities man; you’re a real person now. For others it means the passing of getting irresponsibly drunk on weeknights, the end of illicit drug use and promiscuous sex.

However, just because you had a birthday (mine’s July 15th if you’re wondering) and you’re now 20 (ugh, I’m turning 22) doesn’t mean that you stop doing all the things you did when you were 19. While there might be a momentary feeling of responsibility, it’s not until you actually find yourself in the middle of bills and a job that you realize you’ve become a responsible adult.

Sometimes I feel like I’m a responsible adult, and want to be responsibility free again. Most days, I just feel like a kid play-acting at being an adult. Every time I look at my $7 toaster from Honest Eds, I know I’m still a kid.

Cait

Consider it a Spring Break

2011-03-22T01:51:00.000-04:00

Hey all,

I'm just taking a short break for a little bit, the next ten days at school for me are going to be crazy, and I haven't been feeling quite... well, myself. I will be back with our regularly scheduled posts come next Monday. Please be patient with me, if you want a quick update, follow me on twitter (@cedavidson), and I will be occasionally tweeting about life and work.

However, I have an assignment for my readers. I'm writing an essay about my blog, analyzing it as I've mentioned before. I'd like to know, do you have a blog? Why do you write it? Or, if you don't, why do you follow/read my blog? What do you think is the overall "theme" of Hit and Miss Adventure?

Thank you in advance for your patience and assistance. There will be at least one funny story on it's way come Monday, I promise.

Be good,

Cait

Papercut or a sort of apology

2011-03-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

Papercut is probably one of my favourite songs by Linkin Park. There’s these two lines in the chorus that have been stuck in my head for a few days, “I know I've got a face in me/ Points out all my mistakes to me.” (21-22) It’s the phrase that defines what I feel like I’m dealing with these days. Not that I actually think that I’ve got a face inside my head – but I do have a voice.

It’s one of my voices, everyday it throws doubt and fear at me, and for a very long time I’ve been giving in. A lot of me trying to get back into shape, trying to eat better, try new things, do well in school and balance work with it has to do with not giving into that voice. Every time I give in, it gets a little harder to fight back.

I’m not trying to blame anyone else for my crazy, my weight gain or my refusal to change. I’ve been doing that for long enough. No, I guess what I’m saying is that I know how I got myself into this mess. I know how I need to get myself out. I know the road is going to be hard and long, and I appreciate the support everyone has been giving me.

Jenn, Gym Friend, deserves a special mention for putting up with my insanity and encouraging me to push myself harder.

This isn’t going to be the easiest way to do things, and I’m not the only one fighting with myself. I know it’s a solitary battle, but for you, my readers and lurkers, for you my friends and family, for you cyberspace, I’m going to work on becoming a better person.

For my own sake, I’m going to work on loving who I am more.

Cait

The Idea of Things (Or why my plants always die)

2011-03-16T22:57:00.001-04:00

Instead of discussing more things I’m afraid, let’s talk a moment of liking things. I like pizza and nachos, as well as swivel chairs, fluffy pillows and summer. With that though, there are things I like the idea of more than I like the actual existence. Take butterflies for example, they’re supposed to be these beautiful fluttery creatures that spawn from worms. (I don’t care that caterpillars have legs, they’re worms.)

In practice, butterflies are bugs, and they’re gross.

Pets are another thing I like in theory. Kittens and puppies are adorable, but I don’t want to clean up their poop or vomit. The fact that I have to clean up after myself is something that disgusts me; I don’t want to clean up after a little animal just because it’s fluffy and keeps me company. Teddy bears are just as fluffy, they don’t bite or die and their entire purpose is to keep me company.

Sometimes, I feel that way about school or work – in theory, I love school and my job. Both provide me with a world of opportunities as well as a chance to learn about things that I’d never previously considered. Ask me after a midterm, the due date for an essay or then end of a shift, and I might be irritable, tired and of a different opinion.

In theory, I know I should do something productive, but in practice, all I want to do is sleep.

We’ll see which one wins,

Cait

Things that freak me out...

2011-03-15T00:49:00.000-04:00

… And I’m not talking about commitment.

A lot of stuff freaks me out, but most of it boils down to a fear of dying. There are particular things that really freak me out – like spiders, and I’ll jump on the nearest surface and shriek like a child while throwing things at them.

Edges, usually ones that are high up scare me. Though the edge of the subway platform scares me because falling in there is certain death – and I don’t want to die. Jaywalking freaks me out for much the same reason; I don’t want to dive headfirst into a road way that has 2 tonne vehicles flying at me, faster than I can run.

Things like chronic diseases and terminal illnesses are a given, as everyone would be afraid of them. My issue comes when I read about the symptoms and then turn into a crazy hypochondriac. Too bad I’m not American, my doctor would be very rich, and my insurance company would label me as crazy.

This is where we get into the weird neurotic ones…

Fear # 1:

Botulism is the first one that drives me up the wall. With the exception of pizza, I refuse to eat anything with tomatoes in it if it’s been sitting at room temperature or in the fridge overnight. If I do eat them, I’ll spend the rest of the day/night silently panicking that what I’ve ingested is killing me from the inside. I don’t know why specifically tomatoes, I think I heard somewhere that botulism grows in tomatoes, and haven’t let go of that since.

Fear # 2:

I’m occasionally overcome with the fear that everyone around me secretly hates me. I’m a little awkward, and a little nerdy, I’m aware of this; I don’t pretend I’m not. So when I say something I find funny and no one laughs, I panic, just a little, inside. Or I’ll become hyper aware of the things that I do that are kind of crazy and think that everyone else is paying attention to them and HOLY FRICK, HOW HAVE THEY NOT HAVE ME COMMITED YET? Then I look around. People are absorbed in their own lives, and their own stuff, and I realize that I’m not important enough for people to really care about all the ridiculous things I do. It’s a blessing wrapped up in a cheap shot.

Fear # 3:

Someone is following me. Maybe it’s the guy who got off the subway at my stop walking behind me into the building. Or the person of ambiguous gender who held the door for me, just so they could walk behind me and mug me as I’m leaving work. Usually, I get worked up about this at night, when I’m listening to my music, and have accidentally zoned out because Hilary Duff does that for me. I’ll go to a song that makes me hyper aware, like Manson or Rob Zombie (basically anything from the Matrix soundtrack), and the freak out part of me starts thinking there are ninja’s everywhere that are going to kill me. In my defence, Hollywood told me that that actual happens to normal people.

You know what doesn't scare me? Snakes. I don't know why. I've handled live snakes, even carried one home and put it in Tupperware to show my mom once. It was a blue garter snake.

I know I said I was going to talk about them, but I think two is enough for today. Maybe someday, I’ll tell you more. But if you only see the occasional snapshot of crazy, maybe you won’t avoid me next time you see me.

Who’s kidding, everyone is a little crazy,

Cait

Weight Loss, Goals and Success!

2011-03-12T10:43:00.008-05:00

So, as a few of you know I've been trying to lose weight. To do this, I've been exercising 3 times a week at the gym - training for a five k in April. As well, recently a friend talked me into trying hot yoga.

After eight weeks of exercise, and talking to a few friends, I decided to make a few changes to my diet as well. The biggest thing for me that was killing me weight loss was ordering pizza at home. I find if I just go for a slice, I consume less pizza than if I'm watching TV or doing homework and the box is sitting next to me. So, I'm cutting that out.

As well, full-flavoured pop is a big killer for me, so I'm switching to diet. At first with that I struggled because I don't like Diet Coke. So, I've been improvising, Diet Dr. Pepper has quickly become a favourite as well as Sprite Zero.

I'm hoping to see some of the effects soon, though I haven't actually taken any "before" pictures. Going through my camera I found some pictures from Christmas of just my face, and I feel like even there there's a big difference. From the start, I weighed 220 lbs, and now I'm regularly weighing in at 212 lbs or under. While it's only 8 lbs, it's a start in the right direction, my goal is to weigh 145 lbs and be able to run 10 k, by October 2011.

Of course, I'll have updates on here, and I've mentioned it before. It's not going to be easy, especially with school, but I think it's a healthy goal. It's better than anything else I've got going right now.

The one on the left is from Christmas, and the one on the right is from 2 minutes ago.

I promise, I don't normally look like a crack addict.

Cait

Free Money!

2011-03-11T18:35:00.000-05:00

Is anyone handing out free money?

I was doing some research, and it seems to me (I don’t have a lot of stats, so this evidence is mostly anecdotal) that it is easier to get a bank loan or grant to start a business than it is to get a scholarship or a grant to study.

And then you take ten minutes to consider that something like 56 per cent of small businesses fail in the first five years. (http://www.businessknowhow.com/startup/business-failure.htm) The thing is, if you are not running a sole proprietorship, or at least work your business so that there is no personal liability, you can basically get free money to start businesses, but going to business school is out of the question.

The thing that I wonder is, when you start a business, are you supposed to pay yourself a salary? Or because you own it, do you just get the profits? I’ve asked a few business men, but they danced around the topic and didn’t answer the original question.

If anyone out there wants to help me, I’d love an answer,

Cait

Blogging Tips...

2011-03-09T01:56:00.007-05:00

So, there's this internet blog I love called "Hyperbole and a Half" that makes me laugh all the time. She's got something like 1 to 2 million unique viewers a month, which is almost 1 to 2 million more unique viewers than I get.

Seriously, my best month of 2010 had 857 unique viewers. BUT I love all of you individually.

I was wondering though, how I could get internet famous too... and thought, well, why not email her, and ask her what I could do to get internet famous as well.

Which, by the way, if you wanted to email me, you can reach me at caitlindavidson@hotmail.com.

Enjoy!

Hi Allie!

First, it feels weird to call you Allie, because idk, we don't know each other and are not quite on a first name basis... but I can't call you Ms. Hyperbole now can I? And I don't know your last name, unless it's your email, and then I'd probably make an inappropriate joke about it being an odd last name, and you'd never reply to this email because you're like, "Psht, this Cait mock my name, go set yourself on fire!" and I'd be like... sad.

ANYWAY.

Ms. Allie Hyperbole... I was wondering if you had tips for bloggers... I've read your ENTIRE blog and I LOVE it to PIECES. But the thing is, I love my blog too... and I'm sitting here thinking, well, SHE knows how to make her blog famous. I want to be blog famous... maybe she can tell me. Was there an algorithm? Ok, that was kind of a joke. Though if there is an algorithm... well, I'm in trouble because I don't know how they work. Just like magnets.

So... blogging tips?!?!?!?! if you have any. I'd be ever so grateful.

Cait Davidson

ps. I feel like I should link to my blog down here, but I don't know if it would be weird. Is this like a professional email from blogger to blogger? Can blogger's speak to each other like this?

pps. I might post this email on my blog. Mostly because it turned out to be funny to me, and I put things that are funny to me on my blog.

ppps. ok, here's my blog link: caitdavidson.blogspot.com

The Human Centipede

2011-03-07T03:45:00.001-05:00

I've been having awful nightmares lately. The nightmares have all be centered around a movie I haven't even seen, "The Human Centipede".

I've been closing my eyes to fall asleep and just before I hit real sleep, I start thinking about being the centre of that awful abomination that is created in the movie. While I don't believe that it's "scientifically accurate" I do believe that that's something a twisted mind might try.

A reviewer for this blog said;

"[W]hen I saw the trailer for The Human Centipede, I got this feeling that I’d never felt before, and by the time the final shot of the trailer rolled around, featuring three living people, attached to each other by means of demented surgery ... I thought I was going to throw up."

That in itself should say something, especially when the reviewer opens with the fact that he isn't often squeamish.

I had a friend suggest that I watch the movie, just to get it out of my system, but I can't bring myself to do it. I don't typically like the horror movies people are making these days. I've heard people reference them as "torture porn" or "gorn-o" but whatever you call it, I can't stomach it. The cruelty and brutality of the way one human being is treating another bothers a basic part of me, something that tells me I shouldn't be watching this, I should be stopping this.

I don't want to be desensitized to cruelty.

I can watch people bleed and die in movies like it's nobodies business. No one is less bothered by gore than I am, but there is a huge difference between gore and cruelty. Don't call me a wuss for saying this either, I've seen gore in real life - like someone squirting blood three or five feet from their elbow. Or chopping off the top of their thumb with a rusty hatchet. I've got more stories like that, and unless you've seen worse, don't challenge me on that.

I just want to sleep without thinking about it.
Cait

Is it really healthy? Beware, rant ahead.

2011-03-04T15:28:00.002-05:00

I am so sick of the fat vs. thin "debate" that's been going on in the last few years. I keep reading online stories about Kate Moss's comment, "nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels" or the call to ban fat jokes. I get it, too thin and too fat are equally not good - but 24 per cent of the population isn't too thin.

I also understand that BMI is inexact, but if you can't run 5 k and your BMI is higher than your age average should be, there's a good chance you're fat.

Please, don't bother jumping down my throat about using the word fat, I am fat. My BMI is too high, and I can't run 5 kilometres. I was told by my doctor I need to lose weight, and I'm cool with that. I've lost 6 lbs, I'm down to 214 - I can now run a kilometre, and I'm building muscle. I’m not going to sit here and lie to you about my weight, I’m not “fat but healthy” I’m just fat.

I don’t want someone to tell me to accept myself as I am, because that takes away all of the good feelings about losing weight. Am I supposed to look in the mirror and wonder if I’ll ever be able to shop in a normal store again? I didn’t think so.

I'm also tired of reading online about people who are "too busy" to lose weight. There's no such thing! If you're too busy to lose weight, you'll have plenty of time when you're coping and off work with the health issues that come with being too heavy. I'm not joking check it here. It isn't being referred to as an obesity epidemic for fun.

Saying that you're too busy to lose weight is like saying you're too busy to quit smoking. So no excuses, not even from me. I’m not sitting here pretending to have all the answers when it comes to losing the weight – it’s hard. I’ve been exercising like crazy, and I’ve only lost a little weight! I want to cry when I step on the scale because I feel like I should be losing it faster than I am.

But it’s not just about that, it’s about being healthy. It’s about celebrating the small goals, and it’s about being supportive, no matter what your personal opinion is. So celebrate with me when I say I’m ten per cent of the way to my weight goal, and don’t discount what I’m doing because you’re “morally superior” to me.

I'll update later about hot yoga,

Cait

Ew... Food...

2011-03-02T15:00:00.001-05:00

I’m compiling a list of foods people are not allowed to eat around me unless there is an appropriate level of ambient noise. Chips are a given, but apples have been added to that list, as well as soup.

Apples, because they’re as crunchy as chips and even normal people have issues eating them with their mouth closed. Soup should be obvious. It’s slurping and dripping, and just disgusting.

Popcorn is fine in appropriate situations. Yes, you can eat it in a movie theatre, no you may no eat it in class, at work or on the subway. This is forbidden.

No one needs to crunch and slurp anywhere near me. I know, I’m neurotic.

Get over it.

Cait

Blog Success

2011-02-28T16:38:00.002-05:00

I feel like I’ve been relatively successful.

I succeeded, for February at least, in posting two or three times a week every week. Next, I’ve got to do that for March. Wish me luck.

I read the Peep Diaries recently, and it pretty much implied that I’m doing everything wrong when it comes to creating my own personal brand. I’m not sure if I’m interested in creating my blog as a “product” and that I should be “selling” it online to people, but we’ll see.

At least, I’ve been trying to use tags again, to make my blog more searchable. Maybe I’ll use a word cloud to find the top ten words used in my blog and use those words as tags. That’s probably not the worst idea I’ve had.

I was talking to Gym Friend about the blog, and mentioned that sometimes I’ll have up to three posts written before I post them (like writing all my posts for the week on a Monday) and she apparently thought that was weird.

Anyone have thoughts on that?

Cait

Redesign

2011-02-28T00:43:00.000-05:00

What do you think?

Let me know!

Cait

Promotions (Part 2)

2011-02-24T17:29:00.001-05:00

I was talking to my gym friend (who does have a name, I just haven’t asked permission to use her name, and I hesitate to do that without permission.) Anyway, I was talking to my friend about the guys who assumed that their co-worker slept her way up, and she made some valid points. I kind of feel the need to pass them on because she’s right, I shouldn’t brush it off as “no big deal, they’re idiots.”

First, it’s really offensive to the woman who worked to get that position. If she worked really hard, improved herself and learned new things to get ahead, these men are invalidating her effort and hard work. I suppose I am right to be annoyed if I hear them talking like this.

Second, if she did sleep her way to the top, how useless must they be to have her bedroom activities supersede their work. People who are useful in a company don’t get constantly passed over for promotions if they assert themselves, and are willing to move to different departments. These men must be useless for her to have gotten ahead of them with sex, if she had.

Finally, and this one is all me, it’s really damaging to her reputation. It’s not as bad if it’s just the two of them, but usually that kind of poison spreads. Ignoring the implications to her being judged morally, no one will take a woman seriously who is said to have gained her success on her back. What might end up happening is that she is treated as incompetent or has trouble finding a job in a related business because rumour became one of those “facts” that “everyone knows.”

This woman, who I have no idea who she is or what she looks like, has become a figure in my mind. I’ve created a face and a body, and while the person in my head probably doesn’t exist, someone like her might. It’s funny what happens when I think about things too much.

Maybe, we’re all creating the world we live in, in our minds.

Cait

The River's Changed

2011-02-23T17:12:00.000-05:00

I went back to Waterloo again, and found myself arriving late, lost and irritated until I was able to get myself oriented and my schedule corrected. While wandering the town, I found myself thinking about the quote by the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, "You can't stand in the same river twice."

The landscape has changed, the paper is full of people I've never met, a lot of my friends that were there have graduated or will graduate soon, and my favourite restaurant has burned down. The physical changes aren't what really struck me though, I knew about those. I expected some parts of the landscape to be different, but I didn't expect myself to be so different.

I've changed in a lot of ways that I hadn't expected. I was annoyed when the bus schedule was not super reliable, and when flagging down a cab was so hard in Waterloo and so easy in Toronto. I've become pampered.

I've said this before, but every time I come to realize it again, it's difficult. My friendships have changed. They've moved on without me, and in the same way, I've moved on without them. There are still a handful of people who I want them in my life, but neither of us need each other. There was a time when I needed a lot of friends to justify my self worth, and now I only want the people in my life who are going to be good for me.

There's also people that were in my life in Waterloo that I'm no longer connected with at all. Some of them have just drifted out over time, while a handful of other relationships were severed quickly, after a fallout of one kind or another.

Without these people, Waterloo becomes a different place. It's a city with a poor transit system, flush with students and real Canadian weather. It's a party town, with too many bars, and a lot of temptation to stray from the path of responsibility. There are too many student jobs, and not enough jobs for graduates or people looking to make real money.

It's a place that the person I've become doesn't fit.

I feel like I've rambled a lot, I may come back and clean this up later. Comment, if you want clarification on anything.

Cait

Short Fiction...

2011-02-21T18:45:00.003-05:00

I’m thinking that a big part of my summer will be trying to get some short fiction published. I want, someday, to be a fiction writer, to write novels as well as articles. In order to get your foot in the door, there are things I’ve been told I need to do, and one of them has been getting my short fiction published.

The only problem is I have no idea how.

I figure I can do research, but it’s something that’s tripped me up for a while. I’ve read on the internet how to do it, and submitted stories before, but in the past all I’ve received have been polite regrets that my writing isn’t quite what they’re looking for.

I know, I ended that sentence with a preposition. Suck it up.

I’m hoping that by September, I’ll have had two stories published. If I’m really lucky, maybe I’ll even get paid for them.

Any suggestions or help is welcome.

Cait

Promotions

2011-02-18T18:25:00.005-05:00

I was listening the other day to a couple guys at the gym. I wussed on the work out and only went for 45 minutes, so my friend was on the last 15 minutes of her treadmill time. The guys were talking about some woman, presumably a co-worker, who they believed was promoted higher then she should have been.

It seemed that one of the guys believed he should have received the promotion, and his friend agreed. While they were talking about it, the talk turned to their co-worker sleeping her way to the top.

I didn’t speak up. Those of you who know me personally know that I don’t really seek confrontation with strangers, even if it’s something that really bothers me. And this, well I was bothered by it. I ignored it, and went out to Wendy’s as usual, and didn’t mention it to anyone. I felt bad for their co-worker, but I don’t think my speaking up would have had any effect.

So, I was annoyed. They were literally assuming that because she was female, she must have got to where she is on her back. Then I really started to think about it, the implications of what they were saying.

The men were envious of the position, they wanted it and they didn’t get it. Then they got catty, and decided to tear her down.* By implying that she had gotten the promotion by sex, they’ve determined that she has means to get ahead that they don’t, as well that they were better candidates than her and she needed to resort to underhanded means to best them.

This is fantastic. These men, instead of choosing to improve themselves, to find out the real reason for her promotion and how they can meet that standard, decide to accuse the woman of doing something that most people consider immoral. It means that every person who has to work with them will have the advantage when a promotion comes up. As long as the boss is not a chauvinist (having promoted a woman over these two men, I would assume he’s not) then these guys will never get anywhere.

I know, some people would be intimidated by having to work with them, and their attitude is wrong. But all I’m saying is that it’s wrong in a great way. They’ll never strive to improve themselves, or find ways to set themselves apart from the pack. Most likely they’ll suffer in their roles until they really learn how to improve.

And while they’re wasting away in roles they feel are below them, the woman they accused of getting an advantage through sex will be much farther ahead of the troglodytes that decided they didn’t need to improve.

Sometimes, I think chauvinists are just feminists in disguise. Otherwise, why would they help feminists so much with their stupidity?

It also cracked me up to consider that neither of these men were wearing wedding rings. Yes, it’s possible they’re dating or engaged, but from the way the rest of the conversation turned, I had no reason to believe that they were anything but single.

They were older (like, mid thirties), but were they within my dating age range, that conversation would have killed any shot they had with me. In fact, any self-respecting woman who heard them talking like that would be absolutely turned off them.

And yes, I eavesdrop often. You learn a lot, and it really isn’t all that impolite when you consider that they were in public, talking about this in a volume that was above their indoor voices. Though in the past I have sat in absolute silence and stared at my lap straining to hear someone else’s conversation on the subway.

I’m curious, sue me.

Cait

*Or, there is the chance, no matter how small, that she had actually slept her way up.

Garbage...

2011-02-16T14:45:00.004-05:00

No Toronto, I don’t think you have a right to complain.

You see, you made your bed.

I was reading the Star, the letters against privatization of the garbage, and everyone seems shocked that Rob Ford is doing it. Ignoring the fact that Etobicoke has privatized garbage, one only has to read Ford’s Wikipedia page to see that he’s not opposed to slash-and-burn type cuts to “save” taxes.

Now, I have several complaints about this whole thing.

First, where were all these whiners when the voting booths were open? Clearly, you could see this coming. It’s not like anyone should be surprised by what going on, as Ford is doing exactly what he promised to do. Aren’t we always harping that politicians don’t follow through on their promises enough?

Second, privatization is not a guaranteed road to abusive employers and little pay. I’ve had a few jobs in the private sector and the jobs I’ve been at the longest have been great. I worked at McDonalds for over three years, close to three and a half. Moneris, I’ve been at for two years and counting. I know, they’re different, but I still enjoy working at Moneris, and McDonalds was also a great employer.

Both companies offered benefits, there have been no job security issues and I’ve always felt that I’ve been compensated for the work I do. I have no complaints about either job, and I don’t understand why the automatic assumption is that the privatization of the garbage pick up will be bad for the people of Toronto.

Third, and my last complaint, people are whining that 300 jobs will be lost. Except, the same work needs to be done, and if the people collecting garbage now are competent and hard working as people are claiming, they can get jobs with the private company collecting garbage. For a contract like the city of Toronto, a company will need to hire more. The same money will be going into the economy, leaving the tax payers with a little more money in their wallet.

I get that it’s rough for the employees, but why should my taxes go to pay for a superfluous job?

I guess I could support a family on my taxes, it’s not like I have tuition to pay . . .

Cait

In a blog...

2011-02-15T03:22:00.000-05:00

I sometimes wonder what people want to see in a blog. I read posts that are funny and witty, and sometimes partly fictionalized - but I don't have that. Friends tell me they like reading my blog, and that they find it interesting, but I'm sitting there going "really? what about it?"

I feel like I'm not open enough, I'm not enough of a tangible person to relate to my readers. Not that I'm egocentric enough to believe that my readers spend all of their time sitting at home refreshing "Hit and Miss Adventure" waiting for me to update. (If you are, let me send you some love.)

I like that I have readers, that I can check my stats and see that someones been on, or that I get a comment (I love comments) and can see what people have to say about my life. Or my opinions on life. It's amazing.

I wonder about things, like "If I stick a donate button, would people get offended or donate?" or "which blog posts do people like the most?" So my faithful readers, you know I love you all, tell me what you want to read about.

I'm hoping to stick to my goal of posting at least three times a week, and I have a few ready made posts planned, in case I run out of ideas. If anything, blogging lets me write and have it read, which that in itself is rewarding.

Here goes,

Cait

Valetine's Day

2011-02-14T12:53:00.001-05:00

I’m not often in relationships, and since High School I haven’t been in a relationship over Valentine’s Day. I’ve had one man other than my father buy me flowers, and while it was very sweet – he doesn’t think of me “that way.”

Anyway, all of that is beside the point. It’s funny how many people hate Valentine’s Day – it’s a rage thing, you don’t want to say anything about it because you’ll get people, couples and singles, raging on the entire premise of Valentine’s.

In some ways, it cracks me up, while in others I can definitely sympathize.

I’m not “with” someone, so I feel like I should be left alone on the day. I get it, you want to do sweet things with the person you love… or don’t love, but can’t seem to find a reasonable way to end the relationship. Frankly, I think it’s a great idea – go have a fancy dinner that’ll cost you half your rent.

It doesn’t matter that it’s commercialized, if someone is going to give me free candy, flowers or dinner simply for dating them, then hey, I’m up for that. Grand gestures, of course, go ahead – I’d love to see a skywriter tell me that you love me. Even if we’ve only been dating for a month, it means you’ve got money to burn … right?

That last line made me sound like a bad person.

Cait

Chicago Code

2011-02-11T02:03:00.000-05:00

Those who have had the chance to talk to me about TV know that I'm a huge nerd. I love drama, comedy and "dramedy", I follow cops shows, teens shows, lawyer shows, and doctor shows. I enjoy watching someone read faces and textbooks, I love the scheming of Gossip Girl and the action of Human Target.

So when I say that the pilot for "the Chicago Code" has everything a TV show needs to be good - You know you can trust me.

There's the superintendent who pulled herself up by her bootstraps, the eccentric cop mourning his brother and taking care of his niece. It has corrupt officials with mob ties, dead bodies behind police tape and men who will give their lives for the people who they trust.

The first half of the episode is lighter than the second. The stage is set while the eccentric cop fires one of his partners and sets his role as the "man who gets things done." The superintendent makes a request that's denied and schemes to get her way, because it's "the right thing to do."

You also find yourself watching these people - oak trees, strong and unbending in what is right and wrong. You know while watching them you'll ache with their growing pains when they face difficulties that require them to bend their morals, and you'll love watching them squirm when they make a mistake.

The pilot had everything a pilot should have; action, attraction and friction*. I'd recommend if you didn't get to catch it, that you take a moment to turn it on and see if this show can't catch you up in it's web of intrigue.

Enjoy,
Cait

* You thought that was going to start with a didn't you!

Self Betterment Is Hard

2011-02-10T02:09:00.000-05:00

I feel the need to say this. And no, this isn't going to be a blog where I talk about all body types are ok. I'm not healthy. All body types are only ok, if you're ok with dying young. I want to live to a ripe old age, and be tripping over my two feet until I'm six feet under.

Self-betterment though seems to be harder than it should be. I'm not reminding you, my faithful readers, no the normal person doesn't forget this. But when you're 220 and 5'6 I'm thinking, this weight loss thing, gotta be easy. I've got 65 lbs I can afford to lose.

Nope.

I'm on week three or four of my new fitness thing, I can't even remember (if I'm reminded, I'll correct this) and I'm thinking - alright, I must have lost a few pounds. I ran a kilometer! My pants are fitting looser, I must be losing weight.

Step on the scale, and I'm still 220. Doesn't matter what time of the day it is.

Helpful people who don't want to live very long tell me that I must be building muscle while losing fat. Or that weighing myself when I first wake up will have me be lighter.

I feel like the amount of effort I put in is equal to a whole pant size or ten pounds! I'm fat, I know this. And it takes a lot more energy to move all 220 lbs of me than it does my 120 lb friend. I'm practically two of him, and he's 8 inches taller than me!

I've started bartering with my scale. If I give up Coke will you go down five pounds? What about if I start making my own meals? Cutting down on trips to McDonalds?

I keep saying that I want to lose weight through exercise because I love eating what I'm eating. And I'm incapable of cooking. Maybe I am going to have to start changing things.

Cait

TTC almost killed me

2011-02-07T18:57:00.001-05:00

I'm a little crazy about jay-walking. It makes me nervous, and often my friends are eternally frustrated because if I'm not refusing to cross with them, I complain the entire way across the street. Mostly because I'm afraid of getting hit by a car, because drivers in the city are insane, and no I will not assume they're going to stop.

One of the comments I get from a school friend is that, "it's still illegal to hit a pedestrian!"

So, on our way out to eat junk food, after going to the gym (oh yea, that's the way to do it exercise and eat fat) we have to cross Dundas West. This is a major artery, and I don't even need to make my case to her, to not cross illegally. We get our light and begin to cross, as we're on the second part of the street just as the walk guy changes to the blinking hand.

It's important that you know, the blinking hand was at 21 seconds remaining to blink.

Just as we step out into the road, a TTC rocket, 192 express to the airport tries to run us down. I wave my arms like a crazy person, and the driver stops just a few feet short of killing us. He waves impatiently for us to go through, and as soon as we're clear he guns his engine and goes through. Now, of course, I was half panicking while my friend found it hilarious that we were almost run down and we weren't even jaywalking.

One of these days the TTC is going to have to clean up their act.

Cait

Nerdy things, go ahead, ignore this one.

2011-02-04T18:42:00.003-05:00

I'm working on updating at least twice a week. It's a bit of a challenge with how busy work and school is, but I think it's a worthwhile endeavour. So far, as you may notice, I've been relatively consistent. There's a great explanation for that - scheduled posts. Yea, take that procrastination.

It's actually the greatest thing since slice bread, the idea that I can write whenever I'm inspired, queue up a bunch of posts and have them update on the schedule I want them to update. It lets me be a little lax when I'm busy, and write a lot when I'm not.

There are it's downsides, I mean, just think if I was killed in one of those freak accidents I'm always worried about, (like hit by an out of control TTC bus) and then from beyond the grave am updating my blog. There's also the fact that some of the information might be a little old.

Although my hatred for people eating potato chips will never get old.

Let's be honest though, it's me, and it really isn't a problem if my life writing is a little old - it won't be written weeks ahead, it'll be more like, two blog posts at once, and so the blog will be written the same week that it's posted. If anything big happens, I'll just change the post schedule and put the more urgent post up! And yes, for those who have been asking, the long awaited articles for class will be going up soon!

See? I'm brilliant. Or rather, Google is brilliant, and I'm just tagging along for the ride. One of these days, I might get myself a gmail account.

Cait

Potato chips shouldn't exist

2011-02-02T18:39:00.003-05:00

I hate potato chips. Not because they taste bad, because they're delicious, not because they're unhealthy because I don't care.

I hate potato chips because they are the loudest, most disgusting food that exists. When people eat potato chips in public, everyone around them can hear. It doesn't help that the majority of the population hasn't learned how to chew with their mouth closed.

Chips leave crumbs everywhere. They're gross to listen to people eat and gross to watch people eat. As well, it's "snack food" which means the average person has absolutely no qualms with eating them anywhere, anytime. It means that I don't just have to ignore them at lunch, I have to ignore them at work, in class, in transit and multiple other places that my mind should be protected from the disgusting consumption of this "food".

I like the taste of potato chips, but for the most part, I don't eat them, because listening to the sound of me eating them grosses me out. Imagine how much more disgusted I am when I see or hear someone else consume them.

And don't even think of bringing them to a party,

Cait

Resolutions...

2011-01-31T18:36:00.001-05:00

I’ve been thinking about New Years resolutions a lot lately – it being January, and the year having just begun, what feels like not too long ago. At first I’d resolve to lose weight, to learn a new language and do well in school. But they felt like hollow promises to me, things I’ve been saying I’d do for a while.

I’ve been thinking about long term, over Christmas my dad asked me where I saw myself in five or ten years. I only kind of knew then where I wanted to be, and gave him half of an answer. Then I was talking to another friend who commented, and I’m paraphrasing, that if you don’t make choices for your own happiness, you’ll find yourself miserable and unsure how you got there.

I hadn’t thought of it like that be for, but there are aspects of my life that I can definitely say fall under that category. Overall, I’m a lot happier with my life than I was two years ago, but pieces of me need fixin’.

So, my resolutions for this year are different than my typical broken promises to myself. First, I’m going to do more of the things that make me happy in the long term, including but not limited to:

Train for and run a 5k*,
Eat things that give me energy and add more things with colour to my diet,
Learn new things everyday** and finding ways to apply them to my day to day life.

My second resolution is to be more like who I want to be in the future. I don't know how I'm going to accomplish that, but I think part of that will include being more fiscally responsible, dressing my age, and succeeding in school. I've decided I'm not going to obsess over marks - if I'm learning and working hard, my marks will reflect that.

I realize that I'm late making my resolve, but it'll just have to go from this January 31st to the next January 31st.

Wish me luck,
Cait

* I was going to say 10k but I know if I make it too hard, I’ll just give up.
** Not including reading from Wikipedia.

Winston the Pigeon

2011-01-26T22:00:00.001-05:00

I commute to school, but I’m only one subway stop away from work. I was in the station one morning, and a pigeon flew up, almost at me, and startled me. I joked with the subway conductor about it for a moment, “I’ll never understand Toronto, why are the pigeons indoors?”

He laughed, “Soon enough they’ll be taking the trains so they don’t have to fly.” We parted ways, and I found my seat. Lo and behold, what wanders up near me while the train is in motion, but that same pigeon? Let’s call him Winston. Winston picks at food on the floor and fluffs his wings out, wandering close to the door. He stops for a few moments, as the train comes to a stop.

Carefully, Winston hops over the space between the car and the platform, as if he had done this before. I watched him, as I got off. He carefully manoeuvred the feet of people getting off and made for the garbage can. I laughed, but a little voice in the back of my head wondered if animals are getting too smart for our good.

Pretty soon, they’ll be thinking we’re their pets.

Cait

Update on things that are true.

2011-01-23T22:35:00.001-05:00

I was kind of surprised by the response to Truths People Want to Ignore - I expected at least one person to be offended by it. Not only was no one offended, I received a lot of messages from people saying that they agreed with it. I was shocked, I thought at least one person would respond with a “I’m not self-involved” or “life should be fair” or the one I was really hoping for, “I deserve this because…”

In regards to one part, that no one commented on, but in hindsight, I feel needs a clarification, so here goes. Poetry on FaceBook is a touchy issue, and I have a friend who regularly posts interesting and intelligent poems on FaceBook (usually not her own, but I won’t mock her poetry either.) This person should not be discouraged from posting poetry. (I haven't asked her if it's ok if I name her, so I won't. Maybe I'll edit it with her name later.)

What I get annoyed with is personal poetry, song lyrics, and other things that people use to say, “look at how deep and sad I am.” There’s another type that annoys me, “I had a fight with x and so I wrote a poem about our relationship, using a thinly veiled metaphor, and now am posting it because I’m angry/hurt/deep and want the entire world to know.”

It can go one of two ways for that too. Sometimes it’s someone I’ve met three times in my life, and I don’t even know why I friended them in the first place – but I’m reading this poetry that has intimate details about them and their friends, and I’m wondering why someone would ever post that. The other way is I read it and I know who they’re talking about (and at one point, was the subject of one of these poems) and am sitting there wondering if the other person is an idiot thinking I’d either (a) never figure it out or (b) think that I, or the people I know to be involved, wouldn’t mind that this was posted for the world to see.

Maybe I should add two more pieces of advice, or truths. First, and maybe most important, don’t assume that you’re smarter than everyone else around you. Whether it’s poetry with thinly veiled metaphors that you so smugly assume no one else will get, a university classroom, work meeting, or anywhere else in life. Assuming everyone around you is stupid is a quick way to be reminded how smart you actually are; usually it’s a sharp contrast to how smart you think you are.

Second; a quote known as Hanlon’s Razor, “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” I think the meaning is pretty clear; everyone is a little bit stupid about something. Don’t automatically assume that they’re trying to hurt you, unless it’s clearly defined. They might forget something, say something or do something just because they’re idiots.

The best way to handle that is to say this to them, “it’s ok. I forgive you for being stupid. We can still be friends.” Now, if you’ve done something out of stupidity, and the other person might think its malice, you might want to use this, “I’m sorry, I’m an idiot. Please forgive me, for I am fallible. Still friends?”

I want to be Tony the Tiger when I grow up,

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat.

Cait

Truths people want to ignore.

2011-01-20T02:08:00.000-05:00

I think it's stupid when people post poetry on facebook. I find it annoying when I'm expected to keep the peace, simply because I'm the only one with my emotions in check. Stupidity makes me angry, but not as much as the people who feel entitled to things in life.

Nothing is free. You don't deserve anything.

You can't do everything or anything with your life. Sometimes, you're going to try your hardest and fail. If you haven't lived below the poverty line, you haven't lived. Most people think that no one understands them. People tend to be wrong, about most things, in general.

Television won't teach you anything. The world most certainly is not your oyster. Everyone sees themselves as protagonists in their own lives.

The average person is oblivious because they're self-involved. Everyone is infatuated with themselves, if you deny it, you're lying to yourself. There are no real second chances, forgiveness is usually dependent on the forgetfulness of the person you crossed.

Memory changes over time. Life isn't fair. If you think life should be fair, that sucks for you. Things will not be easy - even if you succeed you're going to die feeling incomplete. Most people won't be remembered fifty years after they die, let alone a hundred years. If the only legacy you can think of leaving is passing on your genetic code - don't bother.

If you think you've had a hard life, you probably haven't. If you think that you're a deep person that lives behind a mask, you're a child. No one will bother looking behind the mask, and no one really thinks that they are shallow.

Everyone thinks that they're intelligent. Everyone has one body part they think is attractive, just like everyone has something that they hate. Everyone thinks they could run things better. Most of them are wrong.

I am not exempt from this. I'm not pretending I'm better than anyone else. I'm not even going to pretend like this isn't going to be mocked, someone will have a problem with it.

Grrrrrrrrreat.

Cait

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

And a Happy New Year.

My resolution: a balanced life.

Cait

Trains

2010-12-02T18:58:00.000-05:00

Ah, my faithful followers - for those who have not deserted me, for my wandering mind and lack of updating, I thank you.

I started school at the Ryerson School of Journalism, and have truly fallen in love with this program. It's a fascinating field, and I have so much left to learn. I was thinking of editing some of my assignments and posting them, but instead, I will post them un-edited, I think that'll help you see how I've developed as a writer and made fewer mistakes. I know, I'm learning not to make obvious mistakes so I can make others.

The only article I will not be posting will be my large assignment... once I get the comments back on it, I'll be fixing that up and trying to send it to a magazine or newspaper to publish.

In other news, as I write this, I'm on a train on my way to Ottawa. I'm visiting a friend for a few days and taking some time to get out of the city and stretch my legs. I've made a few new friends at school, and I'm pretty pumped about that... as things stand I'm looking forward to getting back to school.

I'm constantly comparing in my mind this experience at school with my one at Waterloo, and I have to keep reminding myself that each experience is coloured by the people with whom you live them. Also, when I went to Waterloo, I wasn't sure how to use "whom" properly, and now, I believe that I do. I also understand what my computer means when it says, "subject / verb agreement."

I absent-mindedly locked my headphones in the overhead compartment, and don't want to ask my seatmate to retrieve them for me. I love the window seat because I can see everything, I get natural light and the temperature is usually cooler. The problem is that I'm carrying my purse and another bag, and usually store my bag and my coat. In my right hand coat pocket is my iPod, with my headphones attached. I love those headphones, they do things like allow me to watch TV and listen to music without disturbing the other passengers.

Sigh.

I'm also having issues connecting to the internet which is always irritating.

Have a good one!

Cait

Turkey Day and Family!

2010-10-11T12:34:00.000-04:00

Happy Thanksgiving guys!

I'm spending the holiday in London with family, tomorrow is my grandparents 59th anniversary! Happy anniversary!

School, Moving and other things...

2010-09-27T01:23:00.000-04:00

School is in full swing! As I write this, I should be working on an assignment... I am royally blocked, and cannot seem to figure out what needs to be done. Any suggestions?

Working part time and going to school makes me one busy gal... I'm finding sleep is getting the sacrifice. Someone switched me for a later shift, and I was dreading it at first, now as I sit here, listening to someone whistle and yell outside my window. I'm wishing I had a paintball gun at this point - so I could either sleep or study - but neither is happening with all that noise.

I'm getting used to living in a new place now ... it's not like it was last time I moved, I had all the time in the world to unpack, and get my house in order. Now I'm finding that I'm lucky if I can just get enough time to wash the dishes I eat off. Thank goodness for the dishwasher?

I'm thinking of doing a load of laundry right now, I probably will before I go to bed. Seriously, I wish that guy would just shut up. I thought it was a group, but looking out the window, I realized it is one person, standing on the bus platform. Apparently, voices carry around here. As well, it doesn't help that when he whistles he does that ear splitting whistle, when a person puts their thumb and forefinger in their mouths, and then whistles.

Maybe his bus will get here soon. At least, if it doesn't, the station closes soon.

Hope you can get some sleep,
Cait

2010-09-01T12:59:00.000-04:00

Moving is awful. Nothing is in the right place, you can't eat at home, just finding clean underwear becomes a chore and getting a shower in seems impossible.

I've spent my morning waiting for people, one who never showed up, calling Rogers to figure out when they're going to arrive and being told by our security I can't move anything without the elevator on service - even the small stuff. So, I went back up into my apartment, with no internet and no phone, to wait for the Rogers guy to call. I figured the best bet was to play Solitaire, because I couldn't do anything else.

I waited for about an hour doing this, and started to wonder about a shower. I wondered if I could get a shower in before he arrived. I was on the phone with a friend and joked that me having a shower would rush him, because it's the rule that as soon as I try to do anything something will interrupt. I turn on the shower, get it to the right temperature, step in and my phone starts ringing.

Step out, answer it, Rogers is outside waiting to come in. I said I'd be right there, now I'm in the lobby of my building, snaking the default wireless and waiting. I could use a shower.

Cait

Chickens... and moving

2010-08-31T20:37:00.001-04:00

I'm so worn out and the hard part hasn't started. Over the last few days, my mother and I have packed everything I own in boxes and shoved it into a corner of the house. Last night, we took apart my bed, and I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor that I share with my mother. It's been a busy few days, what with Frosh events, getting the move ready and trying to make all the necessary changes to have my address changed.

Though, I think my mother's snoring has something to do with the being worn out.

I'm looking forward to my new place, it's smaller, sleeker, and overall brighter. It may not be far from where I'm living now, but I feel as if the new place, will contribute to my goal with a fresh start at school. It's also been really great seeing friends and family through the last month, though with work and school, it may be one of my last opportunities to see them until Thanksgiving.

It's strange to see my books all packed up and my bookshelf taken apart. The move has been a good opportunity to clean out any unnecessary junk, and a reminder of some things I'm missing for a full life. I keep telling myself, every time there's a big change like this that I'll cook more, and clean more. While I'm usually a decently clean human being, it's sometimes hard when I get busy to keep my life in order.

We're going out for dessert now, Mom and I. The house is packed up, the new apartment signed for, there's only the actual move to do left. I'm looking forward to getting it unpacked, starting school and having another major life change over with.

Have a good night,
Cait

edit: I realized I didn't explain the title "Chickens... and moving" the reason I named chickens was because I feel like we've been running around like chickens with their heads cut off. We've been making a big mess, a lot of noise and yet it feels like we're accomplishing nothing but wearing ourselves out. Hope that makes sense.

Getting There

2010-08-26T01:46:00.000-04:00

I'm getting incredibly excited to be starting school again this fall, I've got a lot coming up in the next few weeks, let me fill you in on my life, as it happens.

First, I have two more days left of work. Thursday and Friday are often busy days at Moneris, so there'll be a lot of work to do while I'm there. Next, on Saturday a friend of mine has a baby shower in Waterloo, so I'll be out of town Saturday. Come Sunday, my mom arrives, and I'll be out with family all day on Sunday. Monday morning, frosh week starts, I start getting ready to move for Wednesday and Thursday and I get my identification for school. I'm only moving from one building to the other, but it's still a lot of stuff to move, and with all my things comes packing it all up, then unpacking and finding homes for it all. After that is the cleaning, getting my old place spotless for the new tenants.

My mother will be leaving on Saturday, giving me time to get settled and adjusted in my new place - I'm off work until September 10th, so I've got tons of free time to get things unpacked and put away in their new home. I'm also hoping to use this time to see some old friends and maybe even some new ones, that I make during Frosh Week. Once the weekend is over, and Labour Day is dead and gone, I start my new schedule. Three days a week at school, three days a week at work, and one day to myself.

I'm looking forward to all of this activity, I've really been stagnating these last few months. I have had some interesting reads however. I just finished Koji Suzuki's "Dark Water" - horror stories all related to water and set in Japan. It's an incredible book, and I'm thinking of reading more of Suzuki's work - though I'm not sure I could take it. His stuff is incredibly dark, incredibly well written and leaves the reader fearful of shadows and water for the rest of the week. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes to have their stomach twist in anxiety of the ending.

That's all for now, I'll keep you posted when I can, though the next few weeks are looking to be incredibly busy for me.

Cait

A Reflection

2010-08-23T01:09:00.005-04:00

Written on a bus from Kitchener to Toronto.

A familiar scent lingers in the air, as I leave the city of a thousand memories and a hundred mistakes. I waited at midnight in that Pizza Pizza for a boyfriend to get off work. I read that park when I had time to kill, and always forgot that that Tim Hortons closed at eleven. I worked in that Subway and met friends in that Starbucks.

I learned about myself and others in this city - occasionally more than I wanted to know. I asked a hundred questions of a friend in that Williams, and discussed my manuscript at length with the same friend in that office and that cafeteria. I developed a passion for answers, a need for knowledge and a love of questions here. I learned to think analytically, and when to let things go. Well, maybe not when to let things go.

The friendships I made taught me wonderful, and awful, lessons - some that would carry consequences through to today. I was Caitlin when I arrived, but this city was the birth and growth of Cait.

There's only a floor left of one of my favourite haunts, it burned to the ground earlier this year. As I turn a chunk of tile over in my hand I thought it made for an excellent physical representation of one last lesson I'd learn from this city. You can't go back - life changes too quickly and moves ahead, whether you're ready to move with it or not. Looking into myself I realize I wouldn't go back now if I could. I'm not the teenager that arrived in September 2007, nor am I the woman who left in December 2008. I'm not after the same things in life, nor am I willing to give up what I've learned since I left, in order to grasp the last pieces of my adolescence.

My story changed here though. Somehow I jumped the rails - and found a different path. Now, as the bus leaves this city behind I look ahead, that glow on the horizon is home.

Cait

Facebook ...

2010-08-21T22:49:00.002-04:00

So, I finally did it, I deleted my facebook. I'd warned everyone, but the migration to Twitter didn't take, and I realized that if people actually want to contact me, they'll find ways. If you want my email, just ask. It's all over the place, you just need to know where to look.

I do find myself going to check facebook and have it not be there every once in a while. While this is worrisome, I do think that I'll break myself of this habit. I'm not "missing out" on anything and it's not something I need driving my life. If there's an event people want to go me - tell me about it. I don't want an invite on facebook that makes me wonder if you're inviting me because you want me to come, or because you've invited everyone in your friends list.

I am tired. I went to Wonderland today, and defeated the Behemoth. I did not die, though I thought I would at one point. Sleep well kids, I'm exhausted and have plans tomorrow, so the hay is what I'm hitting, and soon.

Cait

Looming!

2010-08-14T21:15:00.002-04:00

School is, closer and closer! I take a week of vacation for my frosh week, and my move - then I start school! I'm so incredibly excited, and really looking forward to the work. I know it's not going to be easy, with working part time while I'm doing it, but I can live with not easy. I'm back in school! Back on track!

I've been trying to figure out what I need for school, but apparently I have to wait for the first day of classes to get my textbooks. *sigh*

For those of you who check this regularly you may have noticed some construction. I've been trying to figure out how to load my twitter onto my blog while keeping consistent with the design. I've tried a few different options, but nothing I like just yet.

Cait

Twitter! And other things...

2010-08-05T20:54:00.002-04:00

Good day, good day,

I am irresponsible and sleepy - hence the lack of updating. I've been working a lot lately too. I am very excited for this September - when I start at Ryerson University in the program of Journalism. It will be excellent! I'm hoping to have a day or two off in the week, or at least have a schedule that's easy to work around. I'm incredibly excited to be back in school, these last few months I feel like I've been stagnating.

I've got to get to bed early, I'm working early tomorrow as well, but I do want to say a few more things - namely, I will be leaving Facebook. Those of you crying at my departure - fear not. I have set up a Twitter account and you can follow me at CEDAVIDSON ... yes. For Cait E. Davidson.

I am a bundle of nerves about my upcoming move and start at Ryerson - I'm nervously excited. That's all I've got for news today,
Keep sharp kids,
Cait

Drugs in Our Day: The Solution

2010-08-01T22:00:00.006-04:00

Kids on drugs these days - they worry me. I think the problem is in the school system - sure we can have lively discussions about the aftermath of drug addiction, the gateway drugs, and the way they'll ruin our lives. But only through educational videos and in class visits from former (now clean cut and polo sporting) drug addicts to speak about how it almost ruined their lives do we actually discuss the dangers of drugs.

I've a solution to propose; you need to make the problem more real to these kids. You don't want a semi-attractive, recovered man in there telling the kids that they need to be good - you want a full fledged drug addict. A guy missing several teeth while those left are rotting in his mouth, his clothes and hair are dirty - since you just pulled him off the street, he probably also smells like urine and a few of the kids recognize him, as he's the crazy guy who yells obscenities at them as they walk home. Hopefully, he's still tweaking from the methadone high that's part of his probation since he was caught throwing rocks in the fountain. You might want to handcuff him to the chair and you probably don't want an actor for this, seeing as the real thing is so much better.

You'll give him a few moments to speak, while he mumbles about the devil giving him heroin (or crack) and making him sell it - try to coach him to mention that he used to be a kid just like them, and that he started with cigarettes and pot. If he's missing a limb - even better, have him wave around the poorly healed stub while he's ranting about the dogs that pee in his spot. Hopefully he can mutter something about thinking that it would "never happen to him" or that he's the "luckiest" of his friends - he's the only one still alive.

As the police are leading him away, smile knowingly, gently to the children, "It's not just that you don't want to end up like him. Drugs might make you crazy enough to have sex with someone like him. Maybe even him." At this point, you want to excuse them from the assembly, give them a fifteen minute recess before they go back to their classes. Once back in their classes, enable a discussion - have each of your teachers reinforce the thought that they will do things they greatly regret while high. It'll take them a few years before they figure out that life is mostly about regrets anyway.

Now, some of you are scratching your heads thinking, "where in the world am I going to find a heroin/crack addict in this Podunk town?" Never fear - I also have a solution for you. If you don't have a crack addict to terrify the kids out of drugs, sit them down in front of a couple movies. In the ninth grade, show them "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" and have an active discussion why it's a terrible idea to get involved with drugs. It's a light hearted movie with some negative and positive undertones of substance abuse. Watching this movie will also show you who in your class is actually stoned. These are the kids who will be unable to form coherent sentences and be trying to ask their friends, "did that just happen?" In grade ten and again in grade twelve, you'll want to show the kids "Requiem for a Dream" - have a lively discussion with the kids on how this movie is an accurate representation of what happens to all drug addicts. Mention that their bright futures as drug fiends could include death, loss of body parts, selling their bodies, jail time or a permanent bed at the mental institution. If you can, try to slip in that if they choose this route, they probably deserve what the future holds for them.

I don't see either of these two suggestions leading to a negative response from the school board, in fact, I expect that many counties will soon be using these methods of preventing their students from drug use.

As usual I'm all yours,
Cait

Good Morning America!

2010-07-23T01:45:00.002-04:00

And goodbye responsibility!

A friend linked me to the drama that's been going on about the whole Jessie Slaughter thing from Good Morning America, I had a look, watched the videos, and am weighing in with an opinion. Here it is folks:

First, the parents. What are her parents doing while their daughter is posting these videos online? Or possible the disturbing pictures mentioned in the comments? She's 11 - not an adult in anyway shape or form, she swears and talks loudly in the video, so if her parents were in the house, it would be assumed they could hear her. Even if they couldn't hear her - why did she have a computer where her parents couldn't monitor her usage? Have neither of them watched To Catch a Predator? The mother made excuses, saying she couldn't watch her all the time. Well great - but if you're not watching a child under 12 at all times, it's legally neglect (at least in Canada.) As well, there's this cute thing, called a password, you can set one up on the family computer and even the internet. I know, it's a crazy idea, and maybe only those internet people on 4chan would know how to use one.

The child isn't old enough to register for these sites. Youtube has this in their terms of service; "In any case, you affirm that you are over the age of 13, as the Service is not intended for children under 13." Myspace has this; "By using the MySpace Services, you represent and warrant that [...] you are 13 years of age or older [... y]our profile may be deleted and your Membership may be terminated without warning, if we believe that you are under 13 years of age." And finally Stickam has this; "You must be at least 14 years of age if you wish to register for an Account." I know guys, that was a lot of reading, but well worth it when you realize that she had to lie to three different companies to create and use their profiles and sites. Finally, 4chan - it's an interesting one, because of the nature of the advertisements on their site it is noted that, "If you are under the age of 18, or it is illegal for you to view the materials contained on this website, discontinue browsing immediately."

Second, the offensive material. The kinds of things this girl says, like telling someone to "get AIDs and die" or that she'll "pop a glock in [their] mouth and make a brain slushy" are repulsive - and that's not all of it. Throughout both videos, the child swears and the father contributes to the hate. What happened to the parents that told their kids, "bullies only go after the kids that cry," meaning - if you feed them, they'll keep coming back. For the most part, internet bullies are cowards and easily ignored. If the child had ignored the children in the first place, and not posted these videos, if the parents had turned off the internet when they were brought in on it, and not contributed to the videos, then a lot of this wouldn't have happened - and it definitely would not have gone this far.

Third, GMA. Yea, sure, post the parents last name and use the kids screen name. If her mother and father are named Leonhardt, there's a pretty good chance her last name is Leonhardt. As well, everyone who would want to threaten her, contact her, etc, already has her contact info, as it's posted all over the internet. In addition, GMA, is it weird to you that a girl who has a potty mouth, smiles and laughs as she threatens the viewers of her youtube videos claims to be, "getting out [her] anger"? It's weird to me, and it weirds me out how every single one of her responses sounded canned. Coaching the child how to perform isn't going to help her youtube videos get any better - sorry guys.

Finally, the cyberbullies. They're like a swarm of bees, yea, it sucks to be stung by one bee - but if you don't swat the one bee, the rest of the swarm will leave you alone. (I'm not swatting the bees on this one kids. I know better.)

Grow up Leonhardts. Seriously. Maybe if they're lucky, they'll get a reality show out of this mess.

Cait

Edit: Same friend linked me to this video, it's where she says, "I don't care, any type of fame I'll take!" apparently posted after the whole meltdown with her father and during the conversation - the police apparently called. There are jokes below the actual cams made about the cyber police - possible evidence that this calm, and not raging teenager, was faking?

Changes

2010-07-20T01:47:00.003-04:00

Just under three years ago I wrote a post about university life with tips for people starting school. I've got that buzzing excitement I had then, while I apartment shop (I hate it) and my landlords are showing my place.

I had a real estate agent through today, I was leaving as he was coming in - and tenants asked about the building - the agent says, "that's good, these guys need it - they live an alternative lifestyle." I'm wondering why he's telling me this - I've never met these guys before. They seemed nice enough. I reply with my, "sure ok." Then, the agent cracks up laughing, like he just told the best joke of all time. "I just kidding. Just kidding." And I said a polite goodbye and left.

I still haven't figured out why he thought it would be funny, my best guess is the Rush Limbaugh book I have on my shelf. Why does everyone hold that against me? It was less than 50 cents.

Lame.

Cait

Vampire Stories

2010-07-12T22:47:00.003-04:00

Clearly they can't be original.

Vampire and Girl fall in love.
Vampire puts Girl in unspeakable dangers, just from being a Vampire.
Vampire rescues Girl multiple times - occasionally she even puts herself in these spots where she needs to be rescued.
Vampire promises to never leave Girl.
Vampire leaves Girl for her own good.
Girl falls for Werewolf.

Did I miss anything? You may recognize the plot for Twilight... little did you know it's also the most recent plot to True Blood. Great.

Cait

Disaster? We'll see...

2010-06-26T20:56:00.008-04:00

I've kept up on the news, facebook and google keep me updated on the G20 situation. While watching I am surprised and not surprised at the same time at the outcome of the situation. Sure, I should know that people amassed in large groups already enraged over political issues might turn to violence and destruction. At the same time - their end goal is to improve the world, and create peace - do they not realize they're hypocrites starting a battle in downtown Toronto?

The protesters aren't completely at fault. People will rise to the situation, and all it takes is one person to ignite the tinder box of violence - though it seems these protests had about 100 people to do that. So far the photo's I've seen and the reports I've read have said that there were a number of people dress in black who started the destruction of shops and lit four police cars on fire. (Number varies by source, sources at end.)

There's more than that to what's wrong here, the situation got worse when police pulled out gas masks, and started trying to force the crowd back - the crowd of course got rowdy chanting "let us through" - whose genius idea was it to provoke a large group of people determined to storm the streets for their cause?

Everyone is in the wrong here. It's not like one side is right or wrong, and there isn't really clearly defined sides. Protesters aren't necessarily anti-government, and the government is who enables us to legally hold protests and public gatherings, which are illegal in some countries. Though some have an "us vs them" mentality, the black clad protesters who clearly set out to commit crimes, others would be just as happy to work with the government. The police were expecting the worst of the protesters, and that's what they got.

Revolution is the American way, the melting pot and their society developed through revolting and warring their way through major changes. Canada however, evolved and we are far more liberal for it than our Southern friends. A perfect example of peaceful protest making a difference in Canada is Pride. It was started to protest the bathhouse raids in 1981, and now they've achieved their goal and have the right to marry, have the ability to give their partners power of attorney.

We have incredible freedoms, and there have been incredible changes in the last century. Does that mean we're done changing? No. But non-violent protest, encouraged by men, like Martin Luther King Jr, has changed the way our world works. And we will continue to evolve, to adapt and to change. There are now laws to help prevent discrimination, whether it be based on race, sex, religion or sexual orientation.

Often you'll hear the protesters talk of an imbalance of power. From my understanding there's been somewhere between 4 and 10 thousand people involved in these protests. It seems like a lot of people, but then you consider the population of the city of Toronto is more than 2.5 million, and the population of Canada is more than 34 million. Again, I've heard the argument that the protesters stand for the disenfranchised of the world; according to wiki the population of the world is more than 6.8 billion. Now, I don't want to sound like I don't care about the issues being raised, some of them, I believe in - not all. However, the protesters do not represent my opinions, and they were not elected by a majority of Canadians to represent Canadian views.

I've heard that many don't believe in the power of elections or voting, some go as far to say that is the reason they don't vote. That idea is absurd, because if the majority cared about the issues, and we made it clear to our government that these are the issues they will be elected or ousted over, then there would be serious action. Less than 30 per cent of my demographic votes - which means every time I vote, my vote is worth 3 times more what it would be if everyone voted.

In a quick and closing note; I had a discussion with a close friend yesterday who commented that it is easier to protest and expect someone else to act, then to take action yourself. If you find yourself rising in frustration and anger to a cause, don't make a sign and march to city hall - go online and figure out how you as an individual can make a difference.

Be good,
Cait

*With notes from coverage on twitter, the Toronto Star, the Toronto Sun and Google news.

*Some information gathered from Wikipedia.org

* Check out this: http://www.cbc.ca/politics/story/2010/06/27/g20-toronto-protest.html and from yesterday this: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/g8-g20/toronto/protests-turn-violent-storefronts-smashed-police-cars-set-ablaze/article1619460/

Lotto Max

2010-06-25T10:15:00.001-04:00

I'm not going to win the lottery if I don't play, but with a 1 in 28 633 528 or rather a 0.00000349 per cent chance of winning the lottery, I'd rather put the $5 a ticket toward my education. Interestingly enough, to make that per cent add up to a hundred per cent chance of winning, you'd have to buy 28 633 528 tickets, which adds up to $143 167 640.00 - though even if you bought all of those tickets, it wouldn't guarantee a win. However, all of that money could pay (at $40,000 per student) for 3 579 students to go to university in Canada. Doesn't that blow your mind?

According to wiki, in Canada 48 per cent of the tickets sales go toward the jackpot, while 52 per cent of it goes to administration and charity. So, figuring the latest jackpot was 95 million, at 48 per cent to the jackpot, that makes the income $197 916 665 - which at $5 a ticket is roughly 39 583 333 - with only 50 big winners from that jackpot and over 39.5 million tickets purchased to cover it, something tells me there will always be a lot more losers on this than winners.

It's funny, because my mother and I were talking about it - she said that people buying lottery tickets aren't necessarily expecting to win. What they're really buying is hope, with their hard earned money. Something to hope for at the end of the week, on Friday night or Saturday morning when they check their tickets. Maybe it's just a symptom of the problem, but does it not worry anyone else that people are spending their hard earned money on the slightest hope to get rich?

I'm not saying I wouldn't like the hope to get rich - but there have got to be better ways to do it that spending $5 a week for forty years on lottery tickets. Maybe there's something else that $10 400 would be better spent.

Cait

Earthquake!

2010-06-23T13:49:00.002-04:00

We just had a bitty earthquake here. That was the excitement, it was mild. I suppose google news will have updates soon. Apparently it was felt in Ottawa - according to a source from work.

My newspaper rattled a little. I thought I was shaking.

That is all.

Cait

Did I miss that?

2010-06-23T10:15:00.000-04:00

Somehow, I missed the 200th post celebration for my blog, I did mention it in "An apology of sorts...". Although, I'm starting to think that after having this blog since April 2007, I should have had more than 200 posts. I also missed the third year anniversary of having the blog - not that my posting lately has been reliable.

I thought I'd give a cliffs notes review of my life in the past few years, so here it is - in point form.

I graduated Tantramar Regional High School in June 2007, had adventures at my prom, spent the summer working, playing badminton, and hanging out with friends that I'd be leaving come fall.
I moved away from Sackville and spent 16 months (four semesters) at UWaterloo, made some incredible friends (and a few mediocre ones too.)
I realized UWaterloo Arts and Business wasn't for me, through working at the student paper, and actually studying some of the things I was there to study.
I moved back to Sackville, wondering how that happened, and started at Moneris Solutions, the debit and credit processing company.
I moved to Toronto, still working at Moneris, and establishing my own home and roots there while applying to schools, hoping to go back Fall 2010.
After getting rejected from Carleton and York, I got into Ryerson Journalism - the only communications or journalism program out of the three to require a portfolio.

That's where I am today. It's a little depressing that my life in the last three years, for the sake of my resume at least, can be summed up into six bullet points. Well, actually, more than a little depressing. But there were adventures to be had, friendship born and broken, missed links and re-connections, life lessons I'd learned, passed on and taught.

Maybe I'll talk about them. I might post it on this online journal thing I've got - they call them blogs. I'll send you the link if you're curious - it's very new and fangled.

Cait

Parents & Father's Day

2010-06-21T01:09:00.006-04:00

Sunday, yesterday, was Father's Day.

My mother is always telling me how much like my father I am, and I've always taken it for a compliment. Whether it's because I'm being difficult or adorable, and she's not the only one. I'm told I look like my father, or that I act like him. My parents are pretty incredible people, I like it when I'm compared to them, though often, I fall short in comparison.

My dad loves swimming in the ocean, once a year, so he can say he did it. He likes to mow the lawn and do laundry, and walks a lot, to get exercise but he told me it was also so he can eat whatever he wants. While he walks, he listens to his iPod and finds coins on the ground. Most of them are pennies, but every once in a while he finds something of real value. He paints like a pro, but has such a poor sense of direction that rivals mine for worst in the family. My mother still worries when we go off somewhere together, that we'll get terribly lost.

For 17 years I believed his favourite colour was red. It happened because one afternoon, when I was a little kid I was asking him tons of questions and he just answered them, hoping that I'd eventually run out of questions. One of them was, "what's your favourite colour?" He flippantly said red, and it stuck in my head - and I didn't find out until I was living with them last year that he didn't really have a favourite colour, and if he did - it wouldn't be red.

When I was a kid, I was jumping up and down a small set of stairs, he told me, three times, to stop doing that - that I'd get hurt. I ignored him all three times. He also later promised me a cookie if I'd be good for the dental reparation they had to do to fix the damage when I fell.

Have a good night kids,

Cait

Rupert Murdoch is a Terrorist

2010-06-09T00:21:00.005-04:00

Think I'm wrong? Originally the word was used to define "systematic use of terror as a policy" - does this definition fit Fox? Or most news organizations, with their breaking news - up to the minute reports of the greatest tragedies no one listens to anymore. It's that culture of fear we've heard oh-so-much about.

A seared nerve - we've lost the feeling for fear. It's omnipresent, like a burn that continues to ache long after the heat is gone. The more we watch for the swooping text, give heed to groundless anxieties, the more we compromise our ability to understand the real threat.

What is the real threat? I don't know - and that's a problem. I read the paper every day and check my news regularly, and the only threat I see is our own disease. We're killing the planet, killing one another, profiting from the suffering of others, and pleading ignorance as the excuse, over and over again. I don't even have a resolution to offer.

And that's your news for tonight,

Cait